I Have More Saddles Than Any Other Horse In The Barn!!!

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Hoo, boy.  This is almost too much excitement for one horse to handle!  I thought last week was a lot, what with Max leaving.  And, since I know you want to know, I am loving my special pink salt lick.  I have licked it so much it is flat on one side.  Now it makes a hunking noise when I move it around with my tongue.  Glee does not like that and says I should stop showing off by hunking my salt lick around, and besides, it is not fair to make that noise on his wall.  I do not care.  Every horse should know how lucky I am!

It was raining a lot last week, and I had fun making squishy mud with my feet.  But then one of the riders came and made me stop.  She is not my new rider, but I like her very much.  Just between us, she is a better rider than my new one. I did not like it when she made me stop squishing mud.  But it got worse!!  She made me take a bath.  I was invisible to bugs and then she washed it off.  I heard Laura tell her that if she washed me any more my skin would fall off, and then I was scared.  I like my skin! It sticks my beautiful hair on!  I do not want to have no skin!!!

It is a good thing that rider stopped then, because my skin did not fall off.  But I did not get to go make more mud squishies either.  I had to wear my blanket even though it was not nighttime!  And I had to stay in the barn.  I would not like that except that now I have the nicest stall in the barn.  It has my pink salt in it, but it is also HUGE!  It is much bigger than my old room was!  And it has a big window that I can look out into the barn, but it does not have a big window to let the cold in.  The best thing is that my big barn window does not have bars on it, which means I can put my teeth on the window and suck some air.  I like sucking air.  It gives me a buzz.  My rider told me I must stop because if I do not, I will not be able to eat grass any more and I will have to have wet hay because I will have bad teeth, like Topaz.  I do not want to have bad teeth like Topaz, because I want to eat grass all day long.

So I do not mind going in the barn, especially now that Max is not there to laugh at me and make faces.  But, oh my gosh, that was not all!  I had a bath and I went in the barn in my blanket, and then the other rider came back again and put braids in my hair.  And then I knew what was up!  I was going to a show!!!  All the people would be able to see what a great horse I am, and say things like “Huey! You are so beautiful!” and put ribbons on me.  I like ribbons.  Only the best horses get to wear ribbons.  So that made me very happy!

But then, we did not go to a show and I was sad.  I think it is because it was raining.  I had to work in the rain, which I do not like, because my saddle pad gets nasty.  Also, I do not like running through puddles because there are scary monsters at the bottom of them, waiting to grab my foot and eat me.  I know this is true because my mother told me this when I was a little foal.  Max once said I was silly and that my mom was stupid to make up a story like that, but I did not like him saying mean things about my mom and I told him I would bite him really hard if he did not take that back!!  He knew I would, too, because he said he was sorry.

Then I got to go out in my paddock in the rain and stomp the mud, but I still had to wear my blanket, because it is my raincoat.  And I did not have to keep the braids in my hair, so I guess I am not going to a show after all.  I am very sad about that.

Today, my rider came and this time, she let me finish my breakfast before she made me work.  And she gave me a massage after.  It was a very good massage, and I told her so by making a love bite.  She did not like the love bite, so then I licked her instead.  It was a good massage because it went on forever.  And Bug had to watch!  He made a face at Laura because he was not happy that I got a massage and he did not.  Ha ha ha!

Then it was really weird!  Instead of going out to my nice big pile of hay in the paddock, the rider made me go back in my stall.  There was still a little hay there, so I ate it.  And then, this was super weird, she came and put the halter on again.  And made me go in the ties.  And another person looked at me and she had a lot of saddles!  I have never seen that many saddles!  Usually I only see one!  But this was more than one!  And then, guess what?  I got to try them all on!  ALL of them!  They were ALL for me!

I wish old Max had been there to see this.  He definitely only has one saddle.  He would have been so jealous! I would have laughed at him so hard!  I miss Max.

Then it got even weirder.  I tried on all the saddles, then I tried one on again, and then Laura made me eat the bit!  And then – even though I had already worked for hours in the ring, the rider made me go back out and work some more.  I tried to tell her that this was a mistake, because she does not ride me more than one time in a day, but she said “No, Huey, I have to try the saddle on too. ”  But I do not understand that because I am the one who wears the saddle, not the rider.  But she made me go, and she got on, and I went around the ring and then we stopped.  And then, guess what?  We did it all over again.  I had to go work four more times!  It was more work than one horse should have to do!  I said that to the rider, too, but she said I should stop being silly, because we were only going two times around the ring and only trotting once.  It was not like real work, she said.  Well.  It is easy for her to say that, because I am the one doing all the moving.

I guess it was a good thing we did that, though.  Because one of my new saddles was great.  It did not pinch me anywhere, and it made it easy for me to carry the rider, and I think – I wouldn’t say this to her because it might hurt her feelings, but between us – I think it made her a better rider.  It was easier for me anyway.  That is my new favorite saddle.  I do not want to use my old saddle, because it is not as nice.  I do not want to use any of my other new saddles, either.  Only this one.

Well, everyone said “You are such a great horse, Huey!” and “How beautiful you are!” and because of that nasty bath, they said my hair was soft and kept touching it, and I liked that.  Maybe I should have a bath more often.  Then, finally, I got to go to my paddock and there was a huge pile of hay just for me!  I can hardly wait to see what will happen tomorrow!

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About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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