I Had The Hugest Bean EVER!!!

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Oh, my gosh.  The excitement around here never ends!  Last time I talked here, I was all sad because I thought I was going to a show, but then I didn’t.  I was wrong!  I got to go after all!  The other rider came and made me take another bath.  This was not fair because it is two baths in one month.  And she braided my hair, and made me shiny.  Me and all the other horses in the barn went in the trailer, and I showed them all how to behave and be a Good Horse Going For A Drive. There were loads of other horses at the show, but we were the best.  We got tons of ribbons!

Later, my rider came and I got to use one of my new saddles! It was my favorite one, too!  The only thing is that the belt itches me.  But that was a good day.  I did not have to work very hard, and the other rider came to tell me how great I am, and we all had fun.

Only, at night, it was very scary, because Dylan got sick and had to go away.  I think he had a tummy ache.  He made a bunch of noise and woke all the other horses up, and then there was a lot of running around and stuff, but it was still dark.  My rider came, but I was tired because of being up all night, and the bugs were horrible, and the rider was sad about something.  So we just went on the ring and I got to show off how smart I am by going the right way on the rope.  She said I was a Good Horse and took me in because the bugs were itching her too.  All the horses in the barn stood around and said how it was not being a good day.

I do not know what to think about today.  My rider came, and guess what?  She brought another blanket!  Now I have three!!! I have my special blue rain coat that Max threatened to chew on.  I did not let him, though.  And then I have a very warm coat, but it is too hot to wear that now.  And then my new blanket is the best!  It is warm and fuzzy and very light, and it is blue to match my raincoat, and it has stripes on, and when I tried it on everyone stood and said “Huey! You are so beautiful!” and I made my tail swish a little bit to show it off.  I cannot wait to wear my new blanket at night.  I bet it will look great with hay on it.

Speaking of hay, I snuck in a good one today!  On Sunday, it was great, I made my rider think I was coming out of my stall and going right to the ties, but I surprised her good!  My Haydar told me that there was a big fresh bale right around the corner, and there was!  And I grabbed a huge bite out of it before my rider saw what I was doing.  She could not stop me!  Because I am smart!!!

Today, the hay bale was not there, and so I went right into the ties.  Clay was in his stall, and when the rider went to get my brushes, guess what he did?  He waited until my rider could not see him, and he put his head out and he grabbed one of my ties! And he said “Huey! I have your tie!  I am the boss of your head! Ha ha ha!”.  I said “Clay, you are not the boss of my head!” and he said “Yes I am!” and he yanked that tie really hard, and he was the boss of my head!  I was mad!  I pulled really hard away from him and my butt went to the wall, but he just hung on. Then the rider came and she saw this and she said “STOP THAT.”  She made the voice that all horses have to listen to, so Clay let go and I said “Yeah, Clay! Stop That! You bad horse!”  And then, because Clay was a Bad Horse, the rider made his door go shut and then he couldn’t put his head out any more at all.

Stupid Clay.  It was not fair.  He is not the boss of my head and if he tries to do this when I am not in the ties I will show him who is boss of my head!

Here is the good thing, though.  When Clay made me move over, my Haydar went off again!  I could not understand at first, but then I saw it:  Bug left his blanket outside his stall, and there were pieces of hay on it.  I knew that if I ate the bit, the rider would take the ties off, and then…it would be mine!  And it was.  I put my head over super fast and I grabbed that piece of hay, and I ate it.  No one could stop me! I love my Haydar.  It is the best one in the barn.

I told the rider that I should have a massage, but she said Not Yet and we had to work first.  It was very good, but that saddle belt is still itchy.  I got to wear a new ear hat today.  It is green and it fits better than my old ear hat.  And best of all?  It is only mine.  I know this because it says Huey on the ear!

Working was OK because the bugs were not horrible.  I did not want to go into the ring, but then the rider made me walk backwards, and I don’t like walking backwards, so it was better to walk forwards.  After that, I wanted to know if it was time for my massage.  The rider gave me a little one and I thought I was going to have a big one, so I got excited.

Then something really weird happened!  I got out of the ties, and I was supposed to go into my paddock, but I didn’t! I went to the hitching post instead!  And then the rider had some water and put a glove on and then I got a special bath. One of those baths.  You Know Where. I do not like getting baths You Know Where, but I am a good horse, so I did not kick.  Well, I only kicked once or twice, but no one was near my foot so those do not really count.   The rider said “Yukky” but she also said “Huey, you are a good horse!” and so it was OK.  I like the hitching post because it is exactly the right height for me to put my teeth on and suck air.  I did that a bunch of times while I was getting the special bath.

Then the rider pinched me You Know Where.  She did not mean it, so I did not kick her.  But it was very pinchy.  And then Laura came and gave me a special bath too, and she pinched me a little bit, and then everyone said “Oh my God!”  because it was not the rider or Laura that was pinchy, it was my bean.  It felt good after they took it out, and everyone stood around and said “Oh my God” and “Holy cow” and “That is huge.”  I thought they were going to take a picture of it, because it was so big. They admired my bean.  And they were right.  It is the biggest bean ever. It is bigger than my tooth.  It is as big as my eye.  I must be one amazing horse to make a bean that big!  I am glad that it is gone!

I almost forgot about that bean because the best thing ever happened!  It put that bath right out of my mind, it was so incredible.  I thought the rider was going to untie my rope from the hitching post, but instead, she had a carrot!!!!  I never had a carrot from her before!  She broke it so it was like having two carrots.  And just when I did not think anything better could happen, it did.  She did have two carrots!!! And they were both for me!!! And she broke them both and it was like having FOUR carrots!

Four carrots, a huge bean, and a brand new beautiful blanket.  I must be the luckiest horse ever.

I will get the rider to make a picture with my new coat. I am the best looking horse in the barn!

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About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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