Woo! This Is Some Kind Of Special Day!

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I don’t know what is going on, but there are so many people at the farm that I thought there must be a mistake and we were having a Horse Show!  I hear you say, but why would that be a mistake, Huey?  And I say, because I did not have a bath, and no one braided up my mane, and that always happens before a Horse Show, and there is no way that we are having a Horse Show here and me not be in it!  So that would be a huge mistake if all these people were here for a Horse Show.  I think I must be wrong because no one had a bath yesterday or got braided, which would mean that none of us are in the Show.  So I do not know why there are all these people here today that do not live her and are not riders of the horses that live here.

But I got ahead of myself.  I am having a whole Special Week!  First, my rider came out and got me and it was cold, and she saw that I had put a rip in my rain coat on the back.  It was a very little rip, but she was not happy about that at all.  She asked me “Huey, how did this happen?” and I said “I do not know?  What do I care if my rain coat gets a rip in it?” and she said “Good point.”  I really do not know but probably it happened when I was rolling in all the great new sand that is in my paddock now.  The rider thought it might be Clay biting my coat, but I told her she was a real silly if she thought I would let Clay put his teeth anywhere near my back!  I would kick him good if he tried that, and he knows it! So, of course, it was not Clay that made the rip.  While the rider was making this big silly deal out of my little rip, and I was standing very patiently in the cross-ties waiting for her to be done so I could know whether I was just going to get brushed and go back with Clay, or if I was going to have to work, guess what showed up?  Yes.  The Hay Truck.  I did not realize it was Hay Truck Time!  My rider said I had to go out of the ties and into my stall so the Hay Truck could come, and that was good because I got to watch all of that hay. And I got to think about how much of that hay I am going to eat.  Every bite of it, if I get my way, that is how much.  I guess my rider was in a good mood because she stopped talking about the little rip and instead, she snuck me a handful of hay and put it in my grain bucket.  I was happy and I made my special Food Noise just for her, so she would know!  Then the Hay Truck went away and I got to come out of my stall, and there was hay all over the floor.  Just ready for me to put my nose down and eat it right up!  But the rider did not let me do that, because she is mean.  I had to go back in the ties and then work.  I was still happy from all that hay, though, and I was a Good and Smart horse, everyone said so.  And it was good.

And then the next day, the rider came again.  And she made a noise about the hole in my rain coat, and said she was worried because it was going to rain and then I would get wet and cold.  I said, I am a horse, silly, I can take some cold and wet.  But she did not listen to that and said she was going to do something about it.  Something turned out to be putting a piece of shiny tape on the hole so that it would not leak.  But you would not believe how much Clay wanted to mess with that piece of shiny tape.  He was a real pest about it.  But! Before that with the tape, guess what?  It turned out I was going to have to work again, but before my rider put on the saddle, she showed me my new saddle pad, and it was white with scribblies on it, and he pointed at the scribblies and told me that it was a word, and that word was “Huey”.  She said that now everyone would see us coming and they would know that they were so lucky to be seeing Huey the Wonder Horse, and that a lot of people would die with a smile on their faces because of that.  I do not want people to die when they see me.  That would be scary.  But she said it was just a figure of speech, and she meant they would only be happy that I was there.  Horses do not have a figure of speech, and I do not know what that is, but I do know what it means when people are happy that I am there.

It means carrots.

Or, at least, sometimes it means carrots.

Well, that day was very strange because it did not rain until I went back to the barn for dinner, and I was so happy to see all that huge pile of fresh hay in my stall, just for me, with no other stinky horse looking at it or putting cooties on it.  It was all in a big block, that hay, but I know what to do about that.  I put my nose in it and I open my mouth as wide as it goes, and I shake my head on the hay block and then it falls apart and it spreads out.  And you know what it is then?  More hay.  That’s right.  I can turn a little old block of hay into a giant pile of hay.  It is like I am magic.

So I had made my magic and there was my giant pile of hay, and then guess what?  My rider showed up again!  She never comes two times in one day!  And she doesn’t come at night, only in the morning!  I did not know what she was doing there.  I did not really care, either, to tell the truth, because, after all, I had a huge pile of hay, and nothing is more important than that.  But she came into my stall and you know what she had?

Another blanket.  Yes.  She took my nice blue blanket with the shiny piece of tape off, and she put a different blanket on.  I do not think this new blanket has a hole.  It also fits different than my old blanket does.  But it is OK.  And everyone says “Oooh” because it is green, and the old one was blue, and blue is good, but green is My Color.  So now I am one super Special Horse, because I have many blankets, and they look beautiful on me, and I have a saddle pad with my name on it so everyone knows that I am a Special Horse!  And the best part?  I did not have to stop eating for the rider to put that new blanket on.  I got to get dressed and eat at the same time!

I was glad about that new blanket yesterday, because it did rain, tons, and it was also very cold, and I do not mind being wet, and I do not mind being cold, but I do not like to be cold and wet.  And the beautiful new blanket kept me nice and dry.  And then, you know what all that rain did?  Right!  It made mud.

So, new blankets, and a special saddle pad, and the Hay Truck, and fresh mud.  A horse could not be happier!

Or I did not think a horse could be happier, right until today.  As I said, the farm is like a Horse Show with lots and lots of people in the house and coming to see the horses.  Clay, of course, wanted to show off with his silly fake carrot.  He said we should make a game, and he would give me the carrot and then I would give it back to him, and this would be fun.  I do not think it sounds like fun.  I would rather stand in the sun and mind my own business and think about hay.  But Clay was being a total pest, he was in my face and trying to give me the carrot over and over and over again.  Then my rider showed up!  She had my brand new halter but she was not wearing her boots or anything, so I did not think I was going to have to work, which is nice, because I did not feel like working.  And she said “HUUUEEY!” like she does when she might have a carrot, and Iw was going to go see, but that dummy Clay started in with his carrot instead.  “Huey!” he said “You do not have to go over there for a carrot! I have one right here!  See!  Take it, take it, take it, take it!!” and I said “I have told you one thousand times, that is not a real carrot.  Get it out of my face or I will have to bite you.”  and he did not, so I showed him that he was going to get a bite.

But then the rider was there and wanted me to go in the halter, and I said to Clay, “When I get back, I will show you why you need to leave me alone when I say to.” and he laughed like a maniac and said “Hahahahah! You aren’t going to show me anything!” and then the rider said “Clay, buzz off!” and made the rope snake to him.  She didn’t make much of a snake, just a lazy silly snake, but still Clay could not help it and ran away.  He didn’t run away far, because it was a silly snake and he was a silly horse for running at all.  I did not move a muscle.  And then I said “You are a chicken, Clay. I will see you later.” and then my rider started walking forward and I went with her.

We always go right to the barn and I get brushed and combed, but today, instead, we went right into the ring.  I was confused, but I am a Good Horse, and we went up to the fence and the rider said “Ho” and so I stood there waiting to see what would happen next.  Then some people came up.  I knew one of them, I think he belongs to my rider too, but the other one was little and old.  And my rider said yes, the woman was little and old but wanted to meet me because I was so Special, and that I should behave myself because there was a treat.  I thought it might be a carrot, because what is better than a carrot?

Well, I will tell you what is better than a carrot.  An apple that is what.  And the little old person had part of an apple on her hand, and I smelled it and I said “YAY!” and I ate it right up.  I do not even remember the last time I had an apple.  Then I saw that there was another apple, so I went right for that too!  And then, because I am a Smart Horse, I realized that there might even be more apples, and I was going to go right over there and sniff these people all over to find the apples.  But then a piece of the fence flashed right up in front of my face and it scared me.  It scared me so much I forgot about the apples.

My rider laughed and said “Here is another apple, Huey” and I was so happy then that I forgot about the scary fence.  And I remembered I was going to get all the apples out of these people, but the rider said I was not behaving nicely and I was being too pushy, and she made me walk around the ring for a while.  I had to do some small circles, too.  Then I was not so crazy about the apples and I could behave myself again, which was good, because then there were also carrots. And I did not have to work, and I did not even have to stand still to get brushed and combed.  I just got to eat apples and carrots, and go right back to the paddock.  Hahahah. I got back to the paddock and I said “Clay, you punk with the fake carrot! I just had real carrots and real apples! I am a more lucky horse than you are!”  And I am.  I am the luckiest horse ever.

Oh, my gosh. New blankets, the Hay Truck, a Special Horse saddle pad, and apples and carrots? This may be the best week I have ever had!

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About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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