I Am Glad That It Is Friday!!!


Well, I thought this was being a bad week when it was only a sore leg, and a visit from the V, and a big Fat Eye from a stupid fly and the mares having a huge fight right behind me when I could not run away.  Now I know better.  But I will say the good things first.

One, my leg is not as sore.  I like the hot thing my rider puts on it, but then we always have to go in the little ring and I have to walk and run, and that is boring.  I want to go riding again.  My rider says Soon, we have to make sure your leg will not get sore again.  I think she wants to go riding some more too.

Two, the farrier came again!  It has not been long since he made my hoofs nice, so I was surprised this morning when after the very nice hot thing and the very boring run around the little ring thing, my rider put me back in my stall.  There was no hay there, and there was no grain, so I did not know why I had to go back there.  My rider said it was because the farrier was coming, but I said he was just here, it is not time.  And she said Huey, you are getting shoes today.

Well!  Shoes! I have not had shoes in AGES!!!  I wondered if I was ever going to have shoes again! But my rider said it was not having shoes that made my leg sore when we went riding, so it had to be shoes.

Then I was worried because the farrier with the shoes is not the Special Farrier I saw.  The farrier with my shoes was rough with my feet and did not put them down on the ground when he was done.  He dropped them.  My feet can handle being dropped, but I do not like it.  Also, my last shoes made my hoof get a crack, and I did not like that either.  I like it when my feet look nice.  But my rider said It is OK, it is the Special Farrier, he will make very good shoes for you.

And he did.  It took forever.  But, the good part is that my rider gave me some apple treat to chew on and I was not bored.  And now I have very nice shoes!  They feel different than my old shoes, and after I got my new shoes, I had to run in the little ring, and everyone said it looked good.  It felt good too!  Any minute now, I know, we will be riding again!!!

Here is the bad thing that happened.

Yesterday, after I had the nice warm thing on my leg and the stupid boring run around the little ring, and I did not get to finish my breakfast which made me very mad.  After that, my rider put my blue jacket on and my Wonder Horse Fly Mask and took me out to the paddock.

Well, Elvis was there.  And he was eating all of the hay.  All that time I was getting the hot thing and running in the little ring?  Elvis was eating my hay.  I did not like that, but I was thirsty and so I drank most of the water.  And then I went to deal with Elvis.

He did not want to go away from the hay, so I said Move, Elvis, I am the Wonder Horse.

And he said If you are the Wonder Horse how come you are not riding?

And I said It is because I cannot ride right now.  But I am wearing my Wonder Horse Fly Mask.  So you can tell that I am the Wonder Horse.  Now go away from the hay.

He did not like that.  But instead of screaming at me like he usually does, guess what he did?

He ran at my face, and he grabbed my Wonder Horse Fly Mask and he pulled on it.

Now, I do not like having my head pulled!!!  So I pulled back as hard as I could, and I am a very Strong Horse!  I can pull very hard!!! And I pulled and I screamed YOU LET GO OF MY HEAD, ELVIS!

And he did not scream anything at all because his teeth were clamped down on my mask.  And he kept pulling, and so did I, and then you know what happened?

That mask pulled right off my head!

And Elvis ran away with it.  And you know what he was doing?

He was laughing at me.

He said Hahahah, Huey!!  I have your stupid fly mask!!  Who is the Wonder Horse now?  Ha ha ha!!!

Well. I was not going to just stand there and listen to this.  One, he had my fly mask.  I need that to keep flies from giving me another Fat Eye.  I said YOU GIVE THAT BACK, ELVIS!!

But he just laughed some more and ran away further.

Well. That was it.  I have had enough of this.  He takes all the hay.  He is disrespectful.  And it was time to let him know that he should not do those things.

So I ran right after him!  I screamed YOU ARE A BAD HORSE, ELVIS!!  I AM COMING FOR YOU NOW! YOU BETTER RUN AWAY!!


And we were screaming really loud and running all over the place.  Even the mares didn’t try to tell us to stop and they always are telling us to shut up and settle down.  But this was it.

Well.  There was Elvis and there was me, and I reared up and he did too.  And I went to bite him on the neck and he went to bite me on the neck.   I did not try to kick him, because one, I was not going to put my butt near his teeth, and two, I would rather bite.  Kicking is for the mares.  Also, Elvis is a big horse, but I am bigger, so I thought maybe I could just shove him and then bite him all over!!  But he had the same idea! He wanted to bite me all over too!  And when we weren’t biting, we were screaming.  I think it is the loudest fight there has ever been at the barn!

And you know what happened?

Elvis tried to bite my neck, and he missed.

He got my jacket instead.  The nice fuzzy part that goes over my neck.

So he grabbed my jacket with his teeth, and I screamed YOU LET GO OF ME, I AM GOING TO KICK YOU REALLY HARD!! and I turned around to get my feet right up where I could really land a hard one on his belly!  But when I did that, the jacket made a really loud noise!!! And then it started to fall off!!!  It had  rip, right down the back!  And there is Elvis, still holding on to part of it!

Well.  What happened next is that all of the horses were watching this, because it was a very good fight!  And everyone was quiet, and I stood there and Elvis stood there, and the mares said “oooooooo”.

And I thought Uh-oh.  My rider made a huge fuss about a tiny little tear in the blanket, but this was a huge tear. It went all the way to my butt!!!  I could not think what she was going to say about this.

So I gave my very best Angry Look to Elvis, and I pinned my ears, and I said You are really in trouble now!! And he dropped my jacket and we started fighting again.

The other bad thing is that I could not fight as well any more, because every time I tried to give Elvis a big fat bite, some piece of my jacket was in the way. I bit it, and he bit it, and then there were hundreds of giant rips in it.

Also, we were tired.  And the mares said we should stop, and so we did.  But my jacket was getting in my way like crazy and my fly mask was gone too.  I said to Elvis, We are not done yet.  If I did not have this jacket getting in my way all the time, I would be showing you!  But he said I am tired of fighting, Huey, I just want some more hay.  So we stood around to see when more hay would come.

Well, my rider came this morning, and somehow she already knew what happened.  She said Huey! I hear you destroyed your clothes yesterday in a fight! And I said Well, yes.  But it was a very good fight.  Elvis should not try to take all the hay.   And she said I should be more careful next time.  I said she should tell that to Elvis since he is the one who tore up my coat.  But she said I should not be fighting that much, and do not make excuses.  And then it was time for the hot pack and the boring run in the little ring.

So this week, I had a sore leg, the vet came, a fly gave me a Fat Eye, mares screamed at each other right behind my butt while I was tied up, I had a huge fight and ripped up my second-best raincoat, and I got new shoes.  I am glad the week is over soon!  I cannot take much more excitement!!


At least I have my Wonder Horse Fly Mask back. And my rider said I am the Wonder Horse even if we are not riding, and even if I do not have any special clothes. So I am happy about that, and maybe I will get some more apple treats!


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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