Well, I have been very busy this week! I had to take a lot of poky ride because of my leg, and then the person came and made my back go POP. And today, my rider came with another person. I have met that other person before. He was there when I had the big, pointless bath. I do not think that he knows much about horses, because he looks at me like he thinks I am going to eat him. I have said to him, Person, I am a horse, and horses only eat stuff that grows from the ground. And sticky balls. And sometimes we just sort of chew on things. But we are not like dogs, we do not eat meat. But I do not think he can speak Horse because he acts like he cannot hear me. He can hear my rider, though. And I do not mind him even though he acts sneaky, because most of the time, my rider gives him a treat for me.
Today, we were in the barn and my rider was taking off my old hair and a bunch of my nice dirt, and the person walked past me. I put my nose out because I thought he might have a treat. He put his hand out, but there was not a treat in it. There was a ZAP.
That is right. My rider’s person ZAPPED me on the nose! Can you believe this? My rider was on the other side so she did not see it, but jumped up in the air, and I made my Mad Noise with my nose all squished tight, and I frowned. And my rider said Huey! What is this! And I said HE ZAPPED ME. So she told him not to do it again, and I said That is right! You do not do that again!
Well, one ZAP on the nose can really make a horse cranky! And so I stood there and I got pink stinky stuff that took more of my dirt off, and every time my rider made nice, I said I am not happy about that ZAP. So then she called that other person back in, and gave him a treat, and said Now give that to Huey.
Well, I did not want to touch that person again, but a treat is a treat. So I stretched my nose out and he stretched his hand out and there was the treat, it was the kind that tastes like a carrot even though it is not a real carrot. And I went to pick it up with my lips, and you know what happened then?
RIGHT. I got ZAPPED. AGAIN!!!!!!
I jumped and I made my Mad Noise and I made an Angry Face at that person and at my rider because he was there with her. And I said Rider! I do not want that person to ZAP me again! I am not getting touched any more!!!!! And she said Huey, you are a Drama Queen. But I know that it is not nice to get a ZAP and it will not happen again, today at least. So I said Well, OK.
And then it was time to go in the little pen and run around. I like that better than running around on the lunge line. The lunge line is heavy on my face. When I go in the little pen, I do not have to wear the lunge line, and it is more fun. Also, that little ring? It has grass on the edge. And if I am very careful I can reach the grass with my lips. And if I can reach the grass with my lips, I can reach it with my teeth!!!
I like grass as much as I like carrots. Even more, maybe.
So we went into that little ring, and I waited until I was behind my rider and then I put my head waaaay down to see if I could get some grass with my lips. I did not think she was watching, but she was! And she said HUEY. TROT. I have to listen when she uses that voice, so I trotted. I was not happy about it though! And then, even worse, there was a big flappy thing on the fence! It waved at me! It made a creepy noise! I did not like that thing on the fence!!!
So I stayed away from it, but my rider? She did not notice it! And she tried to make me go by it! Talk about unfair. I ran by that thing as fast as I could. Which was not very fast, because it is a very tiny ring. But I still ran! Then my rider realized about it, and she told me to stop, and made me walk over and look at the thing. She said This is just plastic, Huey. And I said Plastic does not wave at you. And she said Well, this is special plastic that is made to wave so that Big Strong Horses like you can prove that you are not afraid!
Well. I am a Big Strong Horse. And I was afraid of it. But I did not want to say so. But I did not run away and I did not lay my ears back. But I did not walk up and touch it with my nose, either. The rider touched it and then she touched me, and then we both stood there and watched it wave and flap while she scratched my neck. Then I still did not want to touch it but I was not scared of it either. I just did not want to touch it is all. So she made me walk and trot some more. I did not run away from it this time, though!
And then it was time to actually ride. We have not done any interesting riding AT ALL since the winter ended. My rider was all worried about my leg, and yeah, it was sore for a while, but I think it is OK now. The special shoes the farrier made just for me help! But still. It is one poky ride after another, and they are very short. I spend more time getting brushed to have my old hair off than I do riding in the ring! It is so boring!!!!
Today, it was going to be different, though. I knew. First, my rider said We are going to trot today, Huey! And I said I have already been trotting! I just trotted in that little ring! But she said I mean we are going to ride and trot, Huey. Well, that was good. And, when my rider got up, she gave me a little squeeze that told me to do a good walk, not a poky walk. I marched around that ring!
And, she was right. Then she user her seat to say Trot, Huey! I did! I made a very good trot! Not a poky trot! A big one! And we went around and she said to walk, so we did that too. It was a good thing, because it has not rained in ages and dust comes up and gets in my nose and makes me sneeze and cough. I can sneeze and cough at a trot, but it is better to do that when I am walking.
That was such a good trot that when the rider asked me to trot again, I gave her a great trot. I was trotting like a rocket!!! We were going very fast, and I said This is more like it!! Now I am a fast horse!! And then we had to walk again.
Well. The rider’s person was there sitting outside the ring, and he really does not know much about horses! Because every time we trotted, you know what he said? He said Are you cantering? That is silly! Who can mix up a trot and a canter? And every time, my rider said No, that is not a canter!
And you know what? All that talk talk talk about cantering gave me an idea. I bet you can guess what that idea was, too!!
So the next time my rider asked me to trot, I cantered instead. It has been ages and ages since I got to ride at a canter! I love to canter! I am very good at cantering! I could canter all the way to the moon!!!
But my rider, who is mean because she makes me go on too many poky walking rides, made me stop cantering. She said I asked you to trot, Huey. And I did not say anything at all. I just waited, because I knew she was going to ask me to trot again. And she did. And guess what I did? That’s right! I cantered again!! And this time, I knew she was going to try to make me stop and I did not want to stop. And when she used her hands to try to make me stop, I ignored them. I told myself that if she really meant for us to stop, she would say so with her seat.
And, she did. She said so with her seat, and I bounced a few more times and then it was her seat and her hands and her voice, and she was saying HUEY. WE DO NOT CANTER TOGETHER YET. She made me stand there while she told me a bunch of stuff that I did not feel like listening to. I was just waiting for her to ask for a trot again, so I could canter some more. She was ready for that, though, and I had to just trot. Trotting is boring.
Well, then we were done, and she took me into the barn and she said We have to talk, Huey. She said You tried to run away with me, Huey, what were you doing? And I said It was because I am bored and I do not want to do any more poky walks, and trotting is OK but cantering is much more fun. And she said But Huey, you know I am not a good enough rider to canter with you! You are a big horse! And I said But you did not fall off. And she said No, I did not. But you are my Special Horse, and I take care of you. And I am your Special Person, and you have to take care of me too. And that means you do not run off when I am riding you. That is not being careful. You could have hurt me a lot. But I just said You did not fall off. And I could tell you were not going to fall off. You are good enough to canter with me. I know that. We should do that! And she said Maybe you are right. But you can not run off! You have to listen to me, whether it is my seat or my hands or my voice! So I said OK. I will try to remember not to run off again. But we need to do some more running and do some interesting stuff! Now!! So she said she would see about making some lessons for us.
And then I got some apple treats, and NO ZAP, and I got to go back and eat hay in my paddock. But I am going to run around a bunch real soon!!