It Is Good To Be The Wonder Horse!


Well.  There has been so much to talk about at the barn that I do not even know where to start!  There are new horses, and I learned a new thing!

There are a bunch of new horses and they just have to work, work, work.  I feel bad for them, they have to work that much.  I like to work, but I think it about just right that my rider is coming by all the time and I have to work some, but I do not have to work that much.  I like to work some, and I like to hang out and eat hay too.  Also, grass!!  I have been stealing grass!  I know some times my rider will hold onto the rope and let me eat some grass, and so I make sure every time she is holding the rope that I ask her REALLY loud if it is time for me to go eat some grass.  The easiest way to ask, I know, is that I just try walking right over to the grass and start eating it.  My rider does not like this, and she usually yanks on the halter, but I can yank right back!  Only when I do that, she makes the end of the rope come bite me on the shoulder.  It does not hurt, but it makes a noise, and I act like I am really scared, because I think it is important for my rider to know.

Anyway, she has not been letting me eat the grass so much.  She says if I stop asking she may let me do it more.  That is silly.  How will she know that I want to go eat some grass if I do not ask?

Now.  I had to work too much last week.  I had to go in the little pen and walk and run in stupid little circles, and then go do some poky ride even if we are trotting it is still poky.  I had to do that for a day and a day and a day and a day and a day and another day.  That was one too many days, I think. On the last day, I was tired and my shoulder was stiff, and I did not go straight.  I know I am supposed to go straight and usually I am very good at it, but not that day.

I tried though.  That is because I am the Wonder Horse.  It did not work, and then my rider was sitting on me in a weird way, and I said Rider, why are you sitting like that?  It is not comfortable.  And she said I am trying to help you go straight, Huey.  But I said I am too tired.  I just cannot go straight today.  And after a while, my rider gave up and we stopped.  I felt bad because I am not a lazy horse.  Not like some horses around here, who had the tiniest rider ever sit on them and then all those horses had to do was to stand still in the little ring, and then the tiny rider wanted to get down and that horse just got to go back into the paddock and eat hay and all without doing anything at all.  AND those horses did not behave in the cross-ties and were Fidgety.  So I felt bad because I could not go straight, and my rider was disappointed – I could tell – but she said It is OK Huey, and she gave me a treat and took me back to the paddock.

But then?  She did not come at all for two days.  I had to work and work and work, and then I can not go straight, and then my rider just leaves me standing out in the rain?  Well, I was really in the barn in my nice raincoat with my sticky licking ball and my pink salt, but still.  I could have been out in the rain.  Then she showed up and said Let’s go Huey but I said I do not want to go.  And she stepped up and wanted to blow in my nose, which usually we both like, but I did not want her to blow in my nose, so I put my head on the side.  And she said Huuuuey and tried to give me a scratch but I did not want a scratch.  Well, I did want a scratch, but I wanted her to know that it was not OK to just go off like that!  Then she understood.  She knew I was not a Happy Horse.  She is very deaf sometimes because she knew I was not happy because she was gone but she did not realize I was also not happy because she was gone right after I could not go straight.

So she said Huey, I am sorry I was gone, but I hurt my back sitting on you weird that day, and I have not been able to walk around much.  It is like when your leg was sore and we could not ride.

Oh.  Well.  Lame, that I understand.  She was lame.  She cannot come out to the barn if she is lame.  That is because she does not live at the barn.  So I said I might be OK about that.  But.  It was not my fault I could not go straight, rider, you know.

And she said Oh Huey, I know that.  It was too much work.  But you will be OK now, I know.  You are still my Special Horse! And I said Really?  And she said Yes!  You are the Wonder Horse!  Of course! So I said You did not tell me that for a long time.  And she said, Well, even if I forget to say it, you are still my Wonder Horse.  Always.  So then I let her scratch my neck and blow in my nose and it was OK.  Or, it was OK until I had to go on the lunge line because she said I had to do some work but she was still too lame to ride.  I never liked the lunge line much, but now I really do not like it.  So I put my nose down to the ground and trotted and I looked at her from the side of my eye and I said Do we have to do this? It is boring! And she said Yes, but then it started to rain, so we stopped and went back into the barn.  And then she had carrots, so I really knew I was the Wonder Horse.  It is good to be the Wonder Horse.  I get carrots.

Yesterday, Bug was in the ring with us.  I had to go poke, poke, poke, only walking and trotting, and he was cantering all over the place like it was his own ring!!  It was not fair.  So I made up my own mind, and when he went racing past us, I said Here we go!! and I went to trot.  Only, my rider was there before me, and she said No and pulled the reins to make me stop.  But the next time I said We are really going now!! And I went to trot and I put my head in the air so that she could not pull me on the reins to stop.  Ha!  Except she was there on that too, and somehow made the reins stop me then, too.  So I said You are not being fair.  Bug is beating me.  But she said Bug is not beating you.  He is getting a lesson.  We will have one tomorrow.  And so we did.  And there is a thing that my rider has been trying to do for ages.  I do not really know what it is, because it is like she wants me to turn and stop and go all at the same time!  It is confusing!  And we did that once, and she said That is not quite right, Huey.  And I said I do not know what to do.  So she said Well, then, listen to me, because I am not very good at telling you with my seat and hands, so maybe if I tell you to your ears you will know then.  I am the dummy, not you.  Here is what I want you to do.  I want you to keep walking forward, but go to the side at the same time.  Go away from the side I put my leg on.  Keep your body straight.  Do not just point your head at the rail.  Walk forward and sideways all at once.

So, because I am the Wonder Horse, that is what I did.  I walked forward, and when my rider put the leg on me, I walked sideways at the same time.  And she said HUEY!  YOU ARE SO SMART!! And she gave me a huge pat on my neck.  And I said I did not know that is what you wanted.  Of course I can do that.  But she said You did it very good!! And Laura, who is also teaching my rider to ride, although not the same way I am teaching her said That was great!!  So then I knew I did it right, because my rider is not very smart sometimes and she tells me things are OK when I could be doing them better, but Laura never says that.  If she says it is OK that means it isvery good!

So that is the new thing I learned.  Only it wasn’t really new, but now at least I know what my rider is asking for.  I can hardly wait until she is a good rider.  I hope that happens soon.

Here is the other exciting stuff:  there is a new horse!  I know I said there were a bunch of new horses, but this one is different!

That is because he is tiny.  He is the smallest horse I have ever seen!  I thought maybe he was a foal, and so I stopped to say Hi, Foal! And to let him know that I am the most important horse in the barn, but he laughed and said I am not a foal!! I am a grown horse!!

But, I said, You are too small to be a horse.  Are you a pony? And then he got mad and he stamped his feet and said I am a small horse!  I am not a pony!!

I said It is OK if you are a pony, my BFF Tango is a pony too.

But he snorted really hard through his nose and said I am NOT a pony! I am a HORSE.  And if you come in here, I will kick you just so you know!

It is good that we said all that stuff very fast, because my rider had the rope and she was not happy that I wanted to stand and talk to the little horse.  One, she said, because he is in quarantine.  I do not know what quarantine is, but it meant that I was not allowed to sniff noses with him.  Two, she said, because I cannot Behave Myself when I am sniffing noses.  I can if it is a mare, but if it is a gelding, I sniff noses and then, I cannot help it, I have to scream and stamp my feet very hard.  My rider does not let me sniff noses with any horse because she says I forget how to act and that I could be dangerous.  She might be right.  I know I feel dangerous when I do that, and I want to.  I want that other horse to know how dangerous I am and not to mess with me or eat my hay!!!  And it is all my hay, too.

So I was not allowed to sniff noses with the tiny horse.  But I will!  I will make sure of that!  Maybe when he is not in quarantine any more.  I will have to be careful not to squish him when I stamp my feet, though. He is that small.  And I know my rider would not be happy at all if I squished the little horse!!  In the meantime, I will be practicing my leg yield – that is what my rider called the new trick we did today.  I will be the best at that.  Everyone will know.

I am being one tough horse with my leg yields. This is an old picture. I do not have this halter any more. I have a green one.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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