I Had An Apple!!!!


It has been being a very exciting week for this horse again!!!!  First, I have not had to try to be a running over sticks horse for ages!  That is good.  I have been a cantering around the ring horse, and an eating grass horse, but I am not being an eating grain horse.  My grain is nasty now.  Usually I am VERY happy when my grain comes, because it is Special and it is Good! But lately, it is Not Good.  It is yukky.  My rider said that is because there are chewed up pills in it, and I am supposed to eat those pills and that will make my stall and my paddock less icky when I poop on it.  I do not care if it is icky when I poop on it.  It is poop.  It happens.  There it is.  I do not even care if that poop goes in my water bucket, because that happens some times.  And I do not care if that poop goes near some hay.  I am not a picky horse, not like SOME horses I can say, and if there is a hay on my poop, I will take that hay off and EAT it.  My rider says I am not supposed to eat where there is poop.  I say I am a horse, and if I want to eat where there is poop, I am going to DO that.  I do not see why my grain should be all yukky because of this.  Sometimes, I eat that grain anyway.  It is grain, after all.  Some other horse will eat it if I do not, and why should they get my grain just because my grain is nasty?

Now.  There is lots of interesting things.  One, there is a new horse.  He is not a Wonder Horse like I am.  He is covered with spots, and he went into the stall that my BFF Tango used to go in.  Lately there has been another mare in there.  She is OK.  But the new horse is different.  We were standing around yesterday, in the barn because it was too hot and too many bugs to be outside.  I snacked on my hanging sticky ball, and I ate all the hay out of that bag that only lets me get one tiny piece of hay at a time, and I licked my pink salt for a while.  Then the new guy said Hi Other Horse.  I said Hi horse.  My name is Huey.  But I am the Wonder Horse.  You need to know that.

But that other horse said Why are you the Wonder Horse?  And I said I just am, that is why.  And that other horse said Oh.

Then we stood around for a while and then he said What is a Wonder Horse?  So I said It is the Best Horse Ever.  It means I am special.  I can do ANYTHING.  And I have a lot of special things, like this big sticky ball that tastes so good.  And a pink salt.

And he said What about that net with the holes that make only little pieces of hay come out?  So I said That is not a Wonder Horse thing.  A Wonder Horse thing would be a huge big pile of hay the size of my stall, sitting on a big field of grass, with only other horses that I can boss around on it.  The net with the little holes must be for some other horse.  And he said Oh.

Then that other horse said I am going to be the Wonder Horse too.  But I said You horse, you come here.  And he did and he put his nose up and I put my nose up and I snorted really hard at him and I stamped my feet and I said YOU CANNOT BE THE WONDER HORSE, THAT IS ONLY ME.  And he said Oh.

So then we stood around for a really long time, and guess who came in?

My rider.  I was staring at that other horse so hard to make sure he didn’t try to be some kind of Wonder Horse too that I did not notice her at first!  Then she said Huey! And I jumped up in the air a little, and I came over and said What are you doing here?  It is not time for you to be here!  But she said We are not riding.  Here is your halter, go in it please.  But I said No.  That other horse was watching, and I had to show him how it is done.  So I did not do it.  My rider said Huey!  You go in that halter! And I said Why should I do that? And she said Because something nice will happen if you do.

Well, I am a very curious horse, and I could not help it, so I walked over and went into the halter.  And something nice did happen!!  I got to go out and eat grass!!! Without working first!!!!  Only, also without my Wonder Horse Fly Mask or my fly spray, too, so I went into the grass and the bugs were terrible so Ipoked my rider with my nose.  Well, I meant to poke my rider with my nose.  What really happened is that I poked her with my whole head, and I got into trouble for it.  But at least she did take me back to put some fly spray and that mask on, and then I got to eat tons of grass.

This morning, my rider came again only this time I could tell it was for riding.  But I went right into the halter anyway, because I am a Good horse.  And she gave me a nice big long scratch with the curry, and I liked that.  Only, Sprite was in her stall.  Sprite got me in trouble the other day.  I was getting all groomed up to go for a lesson, and then this big noise started, and then Sprite ran into her stall really fast and she made a HUGE noise!  So I jumped a little and I put my head way up in the air and started getting ready to RUN!!  And my rider said Huey! What are you doing!  And I said There is a MONSTER and I will have to run!!!  But she said There is no monster.  That is the four-wheeler.  You hear it all the time.  They are making the dirt on the ring nice and flat for you Huey!!  What are you scared of?

So I said Sprite is scared and I should be too.  She just said Sprite is a baby, and you are a Big, Wise Horse.  You do not need to be scared.  And she was right.  I realized that I did know what that noise was, and it was not something scary.  It was OK.

So this morning, there is Sprite and she put her nose up over the wall and said Oh, it is you, Huey.  I said Do not get me into trouble again Sprite.  And she looked at me and laughed.  So I put my head up in the air and I gave her a Stink Eye.  My rider saw that Stink Eye and said Huey! What are you doing!  So I said Sprite is looking at me.  But my rider said So?  She can look at you.  Settle down.  But I said No, she is looking at me.  And Sprite said Yeah, Huey, I can look at you!!  And then she looked at me some more.

Well.  What is a horse supposed to do?  My rider said You stop being such a goof, you are not a silly horse.  And she is right.  I am not a silly horse!  So I said Sprite, you can look at me if you want to.  But you better not laugh at me.  And she is a Good Horse even if she is just a baby, so she did not laugh.  But she did keep looking.

Then I was surprised because there was all this stuff in the ring!  I am used to there being stuff in the ring, because I am a jumping horse, and there has to be stuff to jump.  And lately, there have not been the kind of jumps I am used to, but there have been sticks to run over, only I jump them instead whenever I can.  But this was not stuff to jump over.  It was other stuff.  I did not want to go in the ring with all that stuff.  I did not know what it was, and it was scary.  My rider stayed on the ground and took me all over the place to look at all of the stuff.  And, I was not happy about this, she made me step on some of it.  It made a weird, loud noise with my hoof when I stepped on one of those things, and I jumped a little.  Then I had to go walk on it again.

After that, we went riding, and I was a very solid, good horse, even though there was a lot of weird stuff.  Once there was a little animal that ran out into the ring.  I stopped because I did not want to step on it.  My rider yelled at it.  She said Get out of the ring you chipmunk!  My horse could squish you with one foot!  But I said I do not WANT to squish that!!!  And she said I know, but you should not have to worry about squishing small creatures, it needs to go back into the grass.  And it did.  Until one moment we were trotting and it jumped out at me!!!

Well, I was very surprised by this!  And I started trotting sideways.  But, this is very good, my rider did not fall off, even though it could have happened.  She just sat back and said Huey! Huey! and then I stopped and realized I was running away from this tiny thing.  I was embarrassed then, but my rider didn’t say anything at all.  She just made me go back past it, and I wasn’t scared at all.  I was so not scared that I even walked across that loud thing with my rider up on my back.  She gave me a huge pat and said GOOD BOY HUEY!  And then we were done, and she said she had a special treat for me.

I got a little shower, and I got some grass, and then I went back into the paddock.  I like grass.  It is a very special treat.  I could eat it all day.  I especially like the kind with little fuzzy white flowers on it.  Yummy.

But!  That was not my special treat!!!!  I thought my rider was gone, but she came back out to the paddock.  I stopped eating hay and said What are you doing, rider? And she held something up in her hand and said Here is your treat!

The something was round, and I thought it might be red, so I came a little closer.  And it was!!!  It was round and it was red and I thought maybe it was an APPLE.  So I came even closer and it was an apple!!  But instead of holding that apple out in her hand so I could eat it, guess what that rider did?

She threw it into my water!  I said What did you do that for?  And she said Now it is a game!  I like games, but I like apples even more, so I put my nose in the water to get that apple.  But guess what it did?

It MOVED.  It moved away from my nose!!  So I moved my nose, and the apple moved again!!!  Every time I got close to it, that apple ran away.

Can you believe this?  I never had a food run away!

I chased it.  And it ran.  I managed to get a tooth on it and got a little bite. It was sweet and tasty, just like I remember apples being.  I do not get apples very much and I have not had one in ages!!  Not since before the winter!!  So then I knew I had to chase that apple and eat it all.  But it kept running away.

I got the idea to chase it to the bottom of my trough, but the water started to go up my nose and I blew it out and then the bubbles made noise and scared me, but only for a minute.  My rider was laughing.  I said This would have been easier if you had not thrown that apple into the water, rider.  But she just said That is part of the game, Huey.

Then I got a great idea.  I was going to get that apple to come to me!  I made my lip into a point, and I wagged it back and forth as fast as I could, which was very fast to make that apple come in, and it came in and touched my mouth and I got another bite from it.  Then my rider was laughing.  I said This is not funny.  I want that apple.  But she just said You are not bored now, are you?  And I had to say No, because I was not bored.  I just wanted that APPLE.

Finally, I got enough little bites from it that I was able to grab a piece of it, and I sucked it into my mouth before it could run away again, and I crunched it up.  And I swallowed it.  That apple could not run away any more.

Then I had to look at my water to see if maybe there were some more apples.   Sometimes when I get carrots, I have more than one.  Maybe it was going to be the same with the apples.  There weren’t any more, though, but I will be checking again tomorrow!!


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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