I Am Seeing TOO MUCH Of That Guy!!!


It is hard being the Wonder Horse.  It is good to be the Wonder Horse, because there is special pink salt and there used to be hanging sticky balls until I ate the last one and there is not another one yet.  But it is not easy either, because it means having a rider that pesters me about every single little scratch I get.  So I rolled in a part of the paddock that has rocks.  I was itchy!!!  So what the rocks made little cuts on my skin.  They are nothing to the cuts that I would put on another horse’s skin if that horse got in my face and was disrespectful to me.  They are little cuts.  Yes, they made some blood.  The only problem with that is that the flies want to go on then, and I hate flies.  But that is what the special yellow goo is for.  To keep the flies off of cuts.

That rider makes too much of a fuss over these things.

Like a while ago, the same day me and Clay had that adventure and scared all the other horses?  The V came out.  The rider was there in the morning, to have adventure with us, and then she was there again.  I thought it was time to come into the barn and have dinner but it was really time to come into the barn and go into the cross ties and see the V.  I said Rider! What is the V here for?  It is not time for shots!  And I do not really want to have the poky needle thing again.

But she said Huey, it is because you have little dots on your nose.

I said I have dots on my nose?  I did not know I have dots on my nose.

She said Yes.  You have dots on your nose.  And you did not use to have them.  So that is why the V is here.

See?  She makes a huge fuss over some silly little scratches from rolling on rocks, and then she is so worried about dots on my nose that she makes me stand around and see the V!!  I must have the silliest rider in the world.

The V said the dots on my nose were from the same thing that made me cough a while ago.  I did not know a cough would make dots come out on a horse’s nose.  Then the V said I had one  next to my eye, too!!!  Then guess what the rider said?

You will not guess this, and so I will tell you.  She did not say this to me but she said it to the V when I was right there.  She asked the V if the dots on my nose would mean that I could not go to a show.

Well.  The V said that I could go to a show even with the dots on my nose, but that is not important.

The rider said she was going to take me to a show!  I am going to go to a show!!!!  I do not know when, but I heard her!  She said we could go to a show!!!!!!!!!

It has been a very long time since I got to go to a show!  I have not had my mane and tail braided and my hoofs shined up in AGES.

And!  This is VERY important!!! I have not got to go to a show since I became the Wonder Horse.

Yes.  That is right.  When I went to a show before, I was a GREAT horse, and EVERYONE said so, but I was not the Wonder Horse.

Now, I will get to go to a show and EVERYONE will stop and they will watch and they will say Look!  There he is!  It is the Wonder Horse!

They will be lucky to see me, too!  My rider said so!!!

So then I did not mind about the dots or the V so much because I knew I was going to go to a show.

I cannot wait to go to the show.

But then something happened to my rider, and she was riding me but she felt very strange.  Usually she is good about not sliding around.  She used to slide around but I taught her not to.  Now she does not do that any more.  But then she was.  And I said Rider! What are you doing up there?  And she said I am riding, Huey.  But I said You feel weird!  And she said Oh, that is because I have injured my fetlock.  I am a little bit lame.  And I said Maybe you should not be riding because I do not go riding when I am lame.  But she said It is OK Huey.  I will try not to slide around so much.  And she did not.  Well, a little but not as much.

Then it was better, but then she was gone for a long time.  When she came back I went over to her in the paddock and said Rider! You have been gone!  I am bored!  No one has given me apples or carrots and there is no hanging sticky ball any more.  I am bored!  And she said Huey I have missed you.  So I said Well, you should have been here.  But she said I could not, Huey.  I have been very lame.  I have been too lame to walk around.

Well, I know about that.  I was that lame last summer.  I was just walking along and then my hock hurt!! I could not even stand on that leg!  My front leg got very tired from that, but I still could not stand on that leg.  It was not any fun at all.  But that was before I was the Wonder Horse too, but it was not before I met my rider.  She was not my rider then, though, she was just a rider.  Now she is mine.  But I remember being that lame, so I said I hope you are not lame any more because that is not being a very nice thing to be.  And she said No, I am much better.  And then she said Let’s go do some work.

I don’t know about that, though.  This is because my leg is being a little stiff lately.  That would be being the leg that was lame last summer.  I am hoping it is not going to be like that again, because it hurt so much I did not want to eat.  And I like to eat.  But it is being stiff, and we are having to do work that is hard.  It is hard anyway, and it is hard because of that leg being stiff.  My rider wants me to make the turn where I stand on my front legs and my back legs and my butt go around in a circle.  I am happy to do that turn to one side because I am being the Wonder Horse, and Wonder Horses do all kinds of things like that.  But I am not wanting to do that turn to the other side because I do not think I can.  And I said that to my rider.

She said Huey, why don’t you think you can do that turn?  You know how to do that turn.  But I said I know how to do that turn.  See, I can do that turn this way.  But I do not think I can do it the other way.  Well, she said You can too do that turn, and she put her leg on me to make me do it.  I backed up instead, but she said No, and made that leg stay on.  Then I did the turn, but I did not like doing the turn.

Then later, I heard my rider talking to Laura about it, and guess what Laura said?

Right.  She said the V should come out.

The V?  He is nice, and he has soft hands, and he wanted to take pictures of my Special Nose Dots, but still.  He also makes shots.  And I have seen that guy all the time now!!  I do not want to be seeing the V again this soon.  And I think that they said something about a shot.  I do not think I should be having a shot again, and I am not wanting to see that V, and I do not think I am being lame in that leg.  I made sure to show that rider today too.  She was scared to get on me.  I said What are you talking about?!?!? I am not some scary stupid crazy horse!  Why are you scared?  I am Huey, and I am the Wonder Horse!  I am your special horse you said so!!!  So she said I am not scared of you silly.  I am scared that I am going to break you and make you lame.

I said You are all the time saying silly stuff, like Stop beating up the other horses Huey and Please stop getting all scraped up Huey and You are looking like a giraffe Huey and Do not roll on the rocks Huey.  But that is not as silly as saying you are scared because you will make me lame.  That is the silliest thing I have ever heard.  Let’s go ride, now.

And we did.  And I showed her how good I am trotting and I did not even once try to slow down and I made a very good walk and when she cantered I did not pretend that I thought she was asking for a trot, and then in the other direction, I did not even wait for her to ask for the canter.  I was just going to do it.  She said You have to wait for the signal, Huey!  But I said I know what you want me to do.  Why should I wait for your foot?  But she said it was because I am being a dressage horse now and dressage horses know exactly what the rider wants all the time, but they all wait for signals, otherwise, they get points taken off in shows.  So I said Oh that is right, we are going to a show!!! And then I was very excited, and the rider said You have to calm down or you will make yourself lame!!  So I did.  She said the V still has to come out, because otherwise she will be too afraid to take me to a show.  So I said OK.

This is me and I am wearing smelly stuff on my nose that makes my lips curl up, but the rider says it keeps my nose from getting burned by the sun, so I wear it. I am not liking that smell, though.  The smelly stuff is hiding some of my new dots.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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