It Is Not Being Such A Great Week.


I have an owie on my leg.  It is not my old Leg Owie, the one I got when I used to go over huge jumps all the time.  It is a new owie. I was out with my rider in the ring and she said “trot” with her leg and so I did, only my leg was owie, and so it was not being a very good trot.  Even though my rider is not a Good Rider, she is at least a Smart Rider and she listens to me.  She argues with me a lot, but when it is something really important like a leg owie, she listens good.

So when I made my Not Very Good Trot she did not even say Huey, give me a better trot!   She does that sometimes when I am not feeling like being a working horse, but feeling more like being a hanging out in the paddock horse, or even an eating hay horse. But this time she did not.  She felt that Not Very Good Trot and said STOP with her seat and I did, because that was being a very good idea, and she jumped right off and said What is this Huey?  And I said I am not being able to do a Good Trot today, rider.  And she said I want to see this and we went into the little pen and she said Move out, Huey, and I did.  It was easier to make a Good Trot because I was not having to carry a rider around.  And I said See, I can make a good trot here! But she said We are done for today Huey.

Well, I am not being a lazy horse like some horses around this place, so I said Rider.  I am a good horse?  And she rubbed my face and said You are a good horse, Huey. Then I tried to make a really huge rub against her and bumped her with my head and she said NOW you are not being a good horse, Huey.  Just SHOW me where, and I will take care of the rest.  So I curled my head around to show her it was my poll that was all itchy, and she listened to that too and gave me a huge scratch.  It felt so good I just had to put my head way out and curl my lips up.

So my rider squeeze my old Leg Owie, and that was not the right one, but I thought I would fall asleep instead because of that huge scratch, and then I went back into my paddock.

The next day was one of our lesson days, and I was more awake and when my rider put me into the ties I said Rider, you had the wrong leg yesterday.  She said What do you mean I had the wrong leg?  So I said It was not the old Leg Owie.  It is a new one.  And then she squeezed my other leg and I said Ouch.  That is where the new owie is.

Because she is a Silly Person, she said Huey! What is this!  And I said It is a Leg Owie, Rider!  And she said That is not what I meant. I can tell it is a Leg Owie!  How did you get this?  Where did it come from?  But I said That is a silly question, Rider.  It is a Leg Owie.  They happen.  Horses get them.  She said Don’t you know what you did to get this?  But I did not.  I am a horse.  Owies happen.  I do not do something to get them.  They are just there.

Well, the rider put my saddle on, and I said I do not know if this is a good idea, Rider, but she was busy talking to Laura and I do not think she heard me.  And then I had to go in the little pen and make a trot, and I made a good trot.  And everyone stood around and said Maybe it is OK.  They are smarter than I am, so I said Yeah, maybe it is OK too.  But then when we went into the ring, I put my hoofs on the ground and I said Rider, I do not think this is such a good idea.  But she said Huey, I know about your owie.  We need to let Laura look at it to see if we can understand it more since you do not know where it came from.  I promise, if it is hurting you, we will stop.  So I said OK.

At first it was not so bad because we were just walking.  But then I had to trot, and it was the Not A Very Good Trot from before because I had the rider, and she was right.  We only went a very little way before she said STOP and got off.  Then everyone stood around and talked for a long time, and some other horse’s riders too, and then I got my leg hosed off.  That was OK.  And I went into the turnout, where there was some hay, and that was Very Good.

Then the rider came back and I had to stand around and get my leg hosed off.  That was being boring.

And then the next day, I had to stand around and get my leg hosed off, which was boring, and then the rider came back and I had to stand around and get my leg hosed off, which was more boring than before, and then the rider came back again and I had to stand around again and get my leg hosed off again and then it was really boring.

And then the next day, I had to stand around and get my leg hosed off, and again, and again, and there was NO grass, and there was NO riding, and there was NO fun, and there was a LOT of bugs and a LOT of BORING!!!!!!  When that rider came to get me AGAIN and took me over to those outside cross ties AGAIN and I saw the hose AGAIN I said NO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO GET MY LEG HOSED AGAIN.  And I gave her a Stink Eye, which did not work because I forgot that I was wearing my Wonder Horse Fly Mask and I can see out but others cannot see in, so I BLEW through my nose and made that sound to tell her that I, HUEY, AM NOT HAPPY.

Well, she said Huey, guess what.  I am not happy either.  I had to ride another horse for my lesson today, and I am so incredibly bored by standing her hosing off your leg and trying to keep you standing in one place and the bugs are eating me alive too.

And I said You rode another horse?!?!?!

And she said Yes, I needed to do some riding, and I cannot ride you because of your leg owie, so I rode another horse.

And I said You rode another horse?!?!?  While I was right here?  You rode another horse?

I could not be believing this.  I am having to be standing around for HOURS being bored and getting my leg hosed and not being having any fun at all, and there is my rider, riding another horse.

Then she said I miss you Huey.  I want your leg to get better so we can go riding again.  You are My Special Horse, Huey.  Let me hose your leg so it will get better, please, and then we can have some fun together soon.

So I said OK.  And I went into those ties and I stood there and I was a Good Horse.

Then the V came out.  Last time I saw that guy he gave me shots in my other legs and then it was like I was a colt again!  I could go anywhere and run very fast and kick the sky!!! So I said Hey, you vet!  Give me some of those Magic Shots in this leg and make that owie go away.  But he did not.  He watched me move around for a while and he squeezed my owie and I said That hurts and then he stood around talking to my rider forever, but I did not get any Magic Shot.  I just went into my paddock.  My rider said the owie might be a Bee Sting.  She said Do you remember if you got stung by a bee, Huey?  But I said I already told you Rider, owies just happen.  They do not happen because of horses or because of bees.  They just happen.

Then there was more days of getting hosed and stuff.  Boring.

This morning, my rider came and she gave me a huge scratch all over my body, and she put pink stinky stuff in my tail, and I thought that now were were going to be doing something very fun.  And then she put my tack on.  I said I do not know if this is such a good idea, Rider.  But she said I am not going to ride you, the really good rider is going to do that, and I am just going to watch and see if you can make the Good Trot again.  Then I realized she was not wearing the clothes for riding, and the other really good rider was, and I said OK I will try.

But it was like before.  It was OK for a little and then the owie started up again. I was doing my best to make a Good Trot!!!  But it did not happen.  And then the other rider got off, and my rider squeezed my leg which was a little more owie than before, and then I had to get it hosed off again.  But I did not have to run around in the little ring.

My rider came back again but this time she did not hose my leg.  It was raining out in the paddock, and when I saw her coming I said Rider!!!  You are going to get me?  And she said Yes, Huey, I am coming to take you into the barn.  And I said Good, because it is wet out here and I am not feeling like being wet.  Also, last night, there was a sticky ball in my stall, but then it fell off into the barn and I could not get it and I thought I might be able to find it again.

This time it was not a bunch of hose, hose, hose.  Instead, my rider put something loud and cold on my leg.  I said I do not want that thing on my leg.  And I pulled my leg away.  But she said You have to have it Huey.  And I said No I don’t and she said Yes you do, and I tried to move my leg all different ways, but she finally made it go on there.  Then we stood around and I got another scratch.  That is better than getting hosed, because if I am getting hosed, I am not getting scratched.  The only thing is Clay was there, and he stuck his head out and said Huey!!!  And I said Clay, what is it.  And he said HUEY!!! And I said You are using my name Clay.  And he started to tell me about this idea he had to get out of the stall and go running around and be crazy horses, but I said Do not say this stuff to me Clay.  I have an owie, and I am a Good Horse.  I do not let myself out of my stall and go running around like a crazy horse.  And he said You are boring Huey.  And I said If you were out here you would not be daring to say I am boring because I would be showing you some manners.  But he just laughed for a long time, until his rider came in and put tack on him and made him lunge.  I said Ha ha Clay, you are having to work, and I am getting to stay here!!!

Then I got the cold thing off and there was a warm thing.  I liked the warm thing better, but then I got another cold thing, and then another warm thing.  And I got a bunch of scratches, and even my ear got scratched.  And then it was raining a lot, and I did not have to go back out in it, I got to go in my stall, and guess what?

There was the big sticky ball, right there in one of my water buckets!!!  It was not being a good week, but that was being a very good thing!!

If I am not getting my leg hosed again, I am being one very happy horse.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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