I Cannot Be The Wild Horse.


Well, it was not being such a good week, and it still is not being such a good week.  It is being very boring to be getting cold and hot and cold and hot and cold and hot on my leg owie all the time.  My rider is all worried about the owie.  I said It is just a leg owie.  I have had lots of them.  And I am OK.  But she is too scared to play with me now.

I think that is going to be better though.  I had to get my leg hot and cold and hot and cold today while I was eating my hay in the morning.  It is better to have that hot and cold if I have food.  Then it is not boring, because I can just ignore it.  Except when it is cold, because I do not like the cold as much as I like the hot.  And then I got to go outside and there was more hay in my paddock!!  A snack.  And my rider went off.

But then she came back again!  And it was not being time to go in the barn, it was being time to stay outside and hang out with my BFF Tango!!  But there she was and she had that halter and I said I do not think I am going in that halter rider.  It is time for being outside.

And then I did a Bad Horse Thing.  I am pretty sure I did the Bad Horse Thing because I am being so bored and I do not like having an owie on my leg even if it just happens.

I turned my butt to her.  I was not going to kick her.  I was just going to ignore her.  And I do know that I am not supposed to be turning my butt to my rider or any other person.  If they walk behind my butt that is OK.  But I am not supposed to be putting them behind my butt.

But I did anyway.  And she said HUEY. And she smacked my butt with her hand and I ran two steps.  Then I said Oops.

She said You better say Oops Huey!  You are not starting up that Bad Horse Stuff with me!!  You stand there now!

But I was already standing there.  I went into the halter even though it was not time and then we went into the barn.  But I did not go into my stall.  I just had to go into the ties and stand there to get brushed.  I remembered that Bad Horse Oops and even though I do not want to stand still any more because I am SO BORED and I feel fidgety, I stood there anyway being a Good Horse.

And then guess what happened?  A strange person came.  My rider said Huey, this is a vet, and he is going to look at your leg to tell us what is wrong with it.

I said I do not want anyone to look at my leg.  It has an owie.

But she said He is not going to look at your leg and make it owie.  It is OK Huey.

And then we got to walk into the ring, and then my rider started running and told me to trot!  I never trot with my rider unless she is riding me!!! But this time we were trotting together just like two horses!!!!!  That vet was just watching us.  Then I had to go back in the ties and I said Rider, that was very strange.  She said Do you hurt?  And I said Not really but it was weird.  What are we doing?

So she told me the vet was going to make a stick near my leg and we would be able to see what was inside my leg.  I said I want to see the stick.  So they showed me the stick and it was OK.  It was not a real stick.  It was a fake stick.  Real sticks come from trees.  This one did not.  Then they put something cold on my leg, which I did not like much because it was cold but my rider said Huey, you need to hold still. And she held my knee and my hoof so I would not forget.  I put my nose on her butt, which she usually does not let me do, but she let me do it today.  I guess it is all better with the Bad Horse Oops.

Then we were done very fast and it did not hurt and I got to go back into the paddock.  She said Huey, we are not going to be able to ride together for a long time because of that owie.  And I said All winter?  And she said Maybe we can ride before winter, if we are very careful and you do not make the owie worse by acting like a Wild Horse and racing all over the place.  So I said I will try not to.  But I am bored.

She said I know you are bored, and I will try to find things to do.

So that is OK.

But here is the really important thing, why this is being not such a great week even more.

When I go in my stall I do not have a huge pile of hay like I have in my paddock.  I like to have a huge pile of hay, because then I put my nose in it and I push it around and I make that pile even bigger.  And that is what a big important horse like me gets, a bigger pile of hay.  I used to have a pile of hay in my stall, but then everyone said I would eat it too fast and they were right.  I like eating my big pile of hay really fast!!  That way no other horse will get any of it!!!!  And then afterwards, I like to put my teeth on the wall and suck air.  My rider always says not to because it is not good for me, but I do not care.

Only now, I have to wear the Collar of Shame when I go in my stall.  I hate it.  It is ugly and it keeps me from sucking air.  I am not ever a Happy Horse when I have to wear that thing.

AND all my hay goes in a bag with little holes all over it, so I can still eat it, but I can only get out tiny little pieces at a time.  They are hardly even a mouthful!!  And it takes me forever to eat that hay, and I do not get to make the pile bigger, and I do not like that bag even though it usually has food in it.

So I made a secret.  You are not at the barn, so I will tell you what it was.

I made a hole in that bag with my teeth.

Yes.  There are little holes, and I made a big hole.  And with my big hole, I could get a lot more food out of that bag!!  I could really eat it fast again!!  And it would spill all over the floor and be like a flat pile!!!!

The bad thing is that since there is all this cold and hot and cold and hot on my owie, my rider is in my stall all the time.

And you know what happened?

She found the hole.

Yes.  I was so busy with my dinner last night I did not even realize she was coming into my stall!!!!  That is very busy!!!

I was very surprised when she said Huey!  You have your whole nose in that bag!

I thought she would talk to me a lot about this being bad, because she does that some times.  But she did not.  She laughed.  And then I laughed.  I said This is a big joke, rider!! It is my secret hole!!  Hahaha!

And we laughed together, and I got hot and cold and hot and cold on my leg.  I was distracted by all that, and when I went back to put my nose into that bag of hay, guess what happened then?

My hole was gone.

Yes.  There was no more hole.

Then I realized the bag was turned around.  I guess my rider did that while I was not paying attention.  So I took my teeth and I turned that bag back around so that the hole would be right there.

But it was GONE!!!!

It was the right place.  I know where that hole is, because it is my secret!  But there was no more hole!  There was more bag instead!!  I said Where is my hole?!?!

And my rider said It went away, Huey.  Do not make another one please.

But I did not say Yes.  I did not say anything at all.  I am going to make another hole as soon as I can.

This is me with one of my HUGE piles of hay outside!!!


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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