This Is Only Getting Worse.


I have to wear an itchy bandage on my leg because of the owie.  That is not good because it itches.  What is worse is that my rider comes every day and pours something that is very stinky and very cold down on that itchy bandage.  And then it is cold and stinky.  I tried to run away in my stall when she did that before.  Even I left my hay to try to run away.  Now she just puts me in those ties where I cannot run away.

Also, I have not been able to make another secret hole in that bag of food.

But today it was being the worst.  I was being out in my paddock and eating my breakfast and then I was being done with my breakfast and wondering what would happen today.

And what happened is that my rider showed up.  But she did not say Hi Huey! And she did not come over.  She just went right into the barn and stayed there for a long time.  Then she was walking around with Laura and they were looking at some other horses.

And I am being there in my paddock and saying Rider! Hi rider!!  I am here!!!  and she is not looking over at me.

So then I am standing up extra tall, and I am being a very tall horse anyway!  And I am saying Rider!!!!  I am here!! Huey!!!! and then she is looking over at me.  And she is saying Huey!  You are my beautiful horse! And she is walking over and giving me a scratch.  And that was being nice.

But then.

She is saying Huey. How is your leg owie?  And I am saying It is OK, just a leg owie.  And then she is saying Huey. I am going to ride another horse today.

And I am shaking my head like crazy.  She is riding another horse again?!?!  Another horse?  And I am right there???!!  So I said Why are you riding another horse?  And she said Because I need to get better at my riding so that I can be a very good rider for you when your owie is better.

Well. That is OK.  If she is going to be a better rider I guess it is being OK for her to ride some other horse.  And then she said she would come after and we would go have some grass   So that is really OK.

And then she left.

And then the very bad part is there.  She came back only not for me.  She was getting that other horse to ride.

And guess who that other horse was?

It was Elvis.

I am being right there with an itchy stinky bandage on my leg owie, and I am having to watch Elvis walk off with my rider to go be her horse for a lesson?!?!?

I am asking you.  Is it getting worse than this?

And then I am telling you.  Yes.  It gets even worse.

That is because when my rider is bringing Elvis back to his paddock, he is shouting over at me HUEY!  I am a Good Horse!!!  Hahahaha!

And I am saying What is this?!?!?  Elvis is a Good Horse?  Elvis is not being a Good Horse.  For one, he is laughing at me.  That is not Good.

My rider came over and got me but I did not say anything at all for a long time.  Then we got into the barn and she said Huey, what is wrong?

And I said Elvis said he was a Good Horse.

And then it is even worse.

She said Yes.  Elvis was a Good Horse.

And even worse than that!!!

Because Sprite was not taking a huge nap, and she said Huey you are one pain in the butt.  And I said No Sprite, you are.  And then you know what she said?

She said I heard Elvis is a Good Horse.

And I said You are being mean.

And she put her ears a little back and said And.

And I said And? What and?

And she said And. He is a Smart Horse.

What?!?!?!?  Elvis is a Good and Smart Horse?!?!?!

I said Rider!  You did not say that to Elvis!!

But she said Yes.  I did say Elvis was a Good and Smart Horse.  Because he was.  He was very good and smart in teaching me to be a better rider for you, Huey.

I am being a glad horse is my rider is being a better rider.  But I am not thinking it is OK for her to be saying to some other horse, and Elvis that that horse is Good and Smart.  I am not being a horse with an owie and an itchy stinky bandage and too much boredom and having to wear the Collar of Shame and listening to some other horse be Good and Smart.

I put my head down.  My rider tickled my crest but I was not being happy at all.  She brushed me all up and put fly spray on, which was good, because I needed more.  But I was still not being happy at all.

Only then, I thought of something.  I said I am the Wonder Horse still?  And my rider said Oh yes, Huey, you are definitely the Wonder Horse.  And I said Even with this owie?  And she said No owie could make you not the Wonder Horse.  The only thing that can make you not the Wonder Horse is you, and think about that while I pour this cold stinky stuff on your bandage again.

Well, I did think about that and I knew what she meant was Hold still Huey so I did.

And then I said Elvis is not the Wonder Horse? And she said No, Elvis is a Good and Smart Horse, but he is not the Wonder Horse.  That is just you, Huey.

And then I got some grass and a little walk and then there was a huge pile of hay in my bag and even though I had to get the Collar of Shame on, it was not being so bad after that.

I am being very tired of that owie. And other horses picking on me.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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