Good Things and Not Good Things.


Well, some things are good and some things are bad.  The good things are this: I have a new stall!  My new stall is HUGE which is right, because I am a HUGE horse!!!  It is huge, and I have my own door so I can go outside any time I want to.  And there is a paddock that is all mine.  I do not have to share that paddock with any other horse.

Also, I have a new girlfriend.  Her name is Topaz.  I used to think she was just a very old horse and not good for anything but slobbering on perfectly good hay and ruining it, but I was wrong.  Now she lives next door to me and I think she is cute.  And unlike Tango, she does not try to boss me around all the time.

Then, my rider is coming by two times a day now!  And I am getting a lot of scratches!!!  So that is nice. Also, my leg owie is getting a little better.  My rider says so.

Here is the not good stuff.  My rider is making me take a very nasty medicine.  She says it is being good for my leg owie.  I do not know.  What I do know is that it is tasting NASTY.  And it is making other things taste nasty too!  It even made an apple taste nasty!!!  How unfair is that?  I saw that thing too, it is being a very long time since I am having that nasty medicine, but when my rider was pulling it out of her pocket, I was seeing it and saying Oh No.  I am not eating that stuff!! And I am putting my head way up in the air!!!

But my rider is saying Huey, I know it is icky.  But it is good for your leg, and I am missing going riding with you so much and I am wanting to make that leg owie better soon!! So we can go have fun together soon!!  And I am thinking that this is making the rider sad, so I am putting my head down like a Good Horse and opening my mouth even though I hate that nasty medicine.  And then she is saying Thank you Huey, and she is giving me an apple.  But that is when I found out that nasty medicine made my apple taste bad too.  Then I am being sad, but my rider is hearing me and taking me to go eat some grass, and that is making that bad taste go out of my mouth.

Also, even though I am not working like a real horse, I am having to do very boring things with my rider.  All the time now we are going in that little ring and she is holding onto the lead rope that I am not being able to buck and run around like I want to, because she says it is making my leg owie worse.  And instead of racing around, I am having to go this way and go that way and stop and back up and come forward and go that way.  I am also having to play the Hide Your Hiney game.  This means when my rider points at my butt I have to move it out of the way behind my shoulders, and I have to do that fast because otherwise she is smacking my butt with the rope snake.

I do not like to get my butt smacked with the rope snake, so I move it very fast!!!  But it is boring.  She says when I am better at paying attention and doing things fast, not just the Hide Your Hiney, but all of it, then we will be doing something more fun.

I do not see why we cannot do that fun thing now.

And, I am liking my own private paddock, but I am not so happy that I do not go out to my old paddock.  I think I should get both.  Every morning, the other horses go out to the paddocks and I say Hey! You take me too!! but those people are not listening to me.  They are saying No Huey, you have to stay here.  But I am saying I do not want to stay here!  And they say You have to.  And then we argue until my rider comes and makes me eat some more nasty medicine.

But that all is not being the WORST.

I am telling you what is the WORST.

The WORST is this.

My new stall is in a different part of the barn. It is right next to the cross ties.  I can look over and see Clay, and he makes faces at me and then he opens his door because he can.  I cannot open my door because it is locked.  But even that is not the WORST.

The WORST is that the ties are where all the horses get brushed and get their tack put on.  I know.  I have been brushed and gotten my tack on on those ties a BUNCH of times.  And I am still getting brushed, but I am not getting my tack on, because I am not going riding with my rider because of that leg owie.  And the other morning, my rider showed up and made me eat the nasty medicine, and then she gave me a little scratch, and then she said Huey.  I am having to ride another horse today.  And I am not paying any attention because I am also getting some grain.

But then I am paying attention!!! And this is because there is my rider, and she is walking into the barn with another horse, and guess who that horse is?

Right.  It is ELVIS.

And this is the WORST part:  I am having to stand there locked up in my stall without any trip to the paddock or running around or anything, and I am having to watch my rider brushing ELVIS and putting tack on him.

I am being a Strong and Brave Horse, mostly.  Everyone says so.

But I am not being that brave.  I cannot be believing my eyes, that I have to watch Elvis get brushed and tacked by my rider.

I said Elvis.  You had better not be any Bad Horse today.  You had better be taking care of my rider.

And he said Huey. I am not ever any Bad Horse.

But I said Yes you are sometimes.  That time you tore up my jacket, that was being a Bad Horse.  And that is my rider.

And do you know what he said then?

I cannot be believing this either.

He said I do not want your rider to ride me.

I said What? How could you not want MY rider to be riding you?!?!

Then he was a very Bad Horse because he said Your rider is not being a fun rider Huey.  She is huge.  Much bigger than the other riders I get.  And she is not a good rider either.

And I said Elvis, you are not being the horse to be saying this kind of thing.  She is a VERY good rider, I know this because have taught her to ride!!!

But he said Yes, Huey, you taught her to kick my side all the time to make me go sideways, like I am deaf there.  And she is too bouncy when we canter.

So I said That is because you do not have a Nice Smooth Canter like I do, Elvis. You should work on that.

But he was mean and he said I still do not want your stinky rider to ride me.

Stinky rider?  My rider?  Stinky?!?!  She is not stinky!  She smells VERY good!

And then he was VERY mean and he said You just stay there standing around like a pasture puff Huey, while I get ready to go out and work.  For your stinky bad rider.

Then I was very sad.  He is right.  I am all the time now standing around like a pasture puff, and I should be being the Good Horse and working.  And I miss going out with my rider too.

I was so sad I put my head down and leaned against the wall.  And then my rider said I will be back Elvis, I have to go see Huey, and she just left him there in the ties.  

And she came into my stall and said Huey, what is going on?

So I said It is nothing, rider.  Elvis said you were not a very good rider.

And she said Huey, all the time you are saying I am not a very good rider.  And you are right!  I am still learning!

So I said It is not fair that Elvis is going out with you.  I want to go out with you!  I am sad that I am a pasture puff horse standing around all the time.  I am bored. And I am having to watch you going out with other horses.

And do you know what she said?

She said It is OK Huey.  I am missing you too.  And we are going to be riding together again as soon as that leg owie is all gone.  And Elvis is going to help me be a better rider for when I get to go out with you again.  So that is a good thing.  I am not standing around being a pasture puff rider, and getting even worse!  I am going to be getting better! Like last winter!

Well, she was right.  Last winter she was riding another horse because it was too icy for us to go outside, and when she started riding out with me again in the spring, she was a better rider.  So I guess that is OK.

But I was still sad watching her tack up ELVIS and take him out.  But then Laura came in, and guess what she said?

She said Huey, you should not have to watch this.

And she had a BAG FULL OF HAY!!!!  It was my lunch only early.  I got to have my lunch before every other horse in the barn.

So that was being a good thing too.

I am hoping that owie goes away SOON because I am bored and I am not wanting to share my rider with any other horse.



About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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