I Am Really Being The Wild Horse Today!


I have been gone for a long time, I know.  It has been being some very busy weeks at the barn, with people coming to put a Magic Wand on my leg owie all the time, and getting a lot of stupid little walks, but I got a massage and that was very good.  The massage person wanted to make a massage on my neck, but I said Person, that part is hurting.  And she said It is OK Huey, I am being gentle, and my rider is saying It is OK Huey, she is knowing what she is doing.  So I said OK and I am stretching my neck way out to make it easier, and then they are being right!!!  That hurting piece is going away and then my neck, it is making a HUGE noise!!!!  And then everyone is standing around and saying Did you hear that, it was Huey’s neck!!!!  And now it is feeling much nicer.

The V is also coming out.  I got itchy bumps on me like happens sometimes, and then I am getting special medicine but it is in apples, so that is being a good thing.  Apples are always being a good thing, and there are being LOTS of apples now!!!!  It is GOOD!  But that medicine was not making my itchy bumps go away, so guess who came to see me?

That is right.

It was the V.  He is giving me a shot and he is looking at my leg owie, and there is a bunch of talking, but none of it is things like So Huey can go running around and we can go riding now, so I am not paying any attention to it.

I am wanting to go running around, and I am wanting to go riding.  I am watching my rider be riding other horses.  Like Elvis.  I thought maybe my rider was thinking about getting Elvis, and making me not be her horse any more, because that is how it is when you are a professional horse.  Sometimes you have to go have other riders.  It just happens.  But I am not wanting that to happen with this rider.  She is not being like the other riders.  First, she talks to me and I am being able to understand it.  And she is being funny a lot of the time.  And she is having more carrots and apples.  But mostly, I am not being the horse to be teaching some rider how to ride.  Only the best riders have been able to ride me!!  And I was a proud of being difficult horse.  But now I am liking to teach her how to ride.  I do not want to be teaching a lot of people to ride, but one is OK.  And I am liking her, so I was being a very sad horse when I am thinking she will send me away and get Elvis instead.

But she said No, Huey, you are MY horse and you will always be MY horse now.  No other horse is being MY horse until you are leaving this world, and I am hoping that is not going to be for a long time.  Elvis is someone else’s special horse, and she is going to be keeping him for a long time too because he loves her like you love me, Huey.  It is OK.

So that is better, but I am still BORED.  And I am STILL not liking watching some other horse carry my rider around.  That other horse is going to be teaching her bad things.  He says I am the horse that is teaching her bad things, but that is not being true.  I am a good teaching a rider horse.  As long as it is just that rider.  I am not wanting other riders.

But that is not about today.  What is being about today is this:  I finished my breakfast hay this morning, and I am nosing around looking for every tiny piece of hay that might have come out of my net, and there is the other rider, who I like, and she is making me go out in the paddock.  She is saying it is time for her to clean the stall.  So I am nosing around in the paddock for every tiny piece of hay on the ground, and then guess what?

TWO things happened!!

One. My rider came and so I knew it was time to get my boots off and go for a walk and eat some grass.

Two.  Some other people were there and they were on the grass I usually eat, and then they made a VERY LOUD NOISE!!!!!

Well, what is a horse supposed to do?  I started running around, that is what!!  But my rider came out and said Huey! No! and then I remembered I am not supposed to be a running around horse because of the leg owie, so I stopped.  But I was still excited by that noise.  I had to go in the cross ties and get brushed.  I was not wanting to be brushed, but my rider said Huey. Those men are cutting a tree down.  They are not going to eat you.

But if I have ever heard a Horse Eating Monster yelling away, it is sounding exactly like that noise!!! So I am saying Rider! I do not know!  But she is making noises like the cat when he wants to curl up on my bedding and she is saying It is OK Huey, it is OK.  Then Topaz yelled THEY ARE GOING TO EAT US ALL!!!  and she made a HUGE banging noise in here stall and ran in and out really fast, so then I am throwing my head up in the air and saying Rider! Rider!  But she is still making that cat noise and saying It is OK Huey, it is just being Topaz, you know how excited she can get, it is OK.

And it was.  Only because they were still making a lot of noise I did not get to go for a walk.  My rider said she was going to come back.

And she did.  Only, then, it was dinner time. And I was being a wanting my hay right now horse, not a going for a walk horse.  And also, the wind had been there.

This was a Bad Wind.  But it was a Good Wind too.  It was a Wind that said Hooooo….hooooooshh…you horses, you are Wild Horses…I know….hoooooo.

And I am saying Yes.  I am being a Wild Horse!!!  I am just being a Wild Horse that is having to stay cooped up in my stall all the time and never getting to be a running around and having FUN horse.

And then, there was my rider.  And making things worse with that Bad Wind telling me to be a Wild Horse and run around, guess what?

I could not see it, but I knew.  I could smell.

She had APPLES.

So I am saying Rider!! I am wanting my hay right now!! And I am wanting those apples you have!!!  And I am wanting to RUN AROUND!!!!!

But she is saying I know, but we are going for a WALK.  And you are having to WALK Huey, NO RUNNING AROUND.

And also, her person is being there, and that person ALWAYS has some kind of treat.  Maybe he had the apples.  But my rider is saying He is going on the walk with us, and you are listening to me.

And I am saying How can I be listening to you when he is making all that noise, and besides, he has apples?

But she is saying You are needing to listen to me, Huey.

And I am listening, but only for a little while.  Then I am putting my head way up in the air and saying Rider!  It is me, Huey!  I am a Wild Horse!!!

And I am not behaving.  That is what she said.  She said Huey, you need to behave.  But I am not hearing that.  I am thinking too much of the crunchy leaves and that Wind that is still there saying Huey…Huey….Huey…and I am thinking about that person that has treats.

So my rider is then saying to that person that he should go back and let us walk.  And I am saying I DO NOT WANT TO WALK!!

And I am not being able to help it.  My feet are kicking around all by themselves.  I am not being able to stop them!! They are dancing feet!!!!

My rider is saying Let’s go, and walking down the road and I am coming behind her, and then my feet are jumping feet.  And my rider is turning around and she is not happy about my jumping feet.  She is saying WHAT WAS THAT.

And I am saying I do not know.  It is my feet, rider.  They are jumping feet now.

And she is saying They felt like they were kicking feet back there.  I am not having a horse that is being a kicking horse Huey.  You had better talk to those feet and tell them to behave and to stay on the ground AND WALK.  So then I am sorry and I am saying to my feet Feet, you cannot be bad like that.

But they are not listening.  So then my rider is making those feet go backwards on the road.  I am not a going backwards horse, but my rider can make me be.  And she did.  And then she gave me a Stink Eye and said I know you are bored Huey, and I know you want to run around.  But your leg owie.  And I said OK.

Then we turned around and started heading back to the barn.  And my feet were bad feet again.  They were trotting.  I was telling them You feet are supposed to be WALKING but they are not.

And there is my rider and she is turning around and saying What now Huey.  And she is looking at me and saying Huey. You are trotting.

So I am saying But I am trotting very slowly.  It is just like walking.  Only trotting.

And she is saying Why are you not walking then? And I am saying I told my feet to walk but they will not do it, they will only trot.  I cannot make them stop.  I tried.

So she stops and I said Can I eat some grass? And she said Yes, while I am thinking.

So I ate some grass and she thought for a while.

Then she said Huey. Listen to me.  So I said OK. And she said Huey. I have an idea for your trotting feet.  IF your feet will WALK back to the barn, AND your brain will pay attention to ME and not be Wild, I will take you into the ring on this rope, because I will NOT let you into the ring without the rope.  And IF you are good and listen to me carefully, I will go with you and we will do a little bit of trotting together.  But ONLY in the ring and ONLY as long as I say and ONLY if you are minding me.

So I said I will try.

On the way back, there was a Very Scary thing by the side of the road! And I jumped a little!!  And the rider said Huey, what now?  And I said It is that scary thing!!!!!

And she said Are you talking about that log next to the road? And I said YES!!! It was not there before!!!! But she said It was there when we walked out.  But I said I did not see it, so it was not there!  And then I looked at it again, and it scared me AGAIN!!!!!

My rider made that noise like the other wind, not the Good Wind, but the wind that rushes through the barn and said Let’s go, Huey.  Leave the log alone.  It will not bite you.  It is just the same stuff as is on the floor of your stall.  So I said THERE ARE HORSE-EATING LOGS ON THE FLOOR OF MY STALL?!?!?!?  But she made that wind noise again and said No.  There are shavings on your stall like always.  That is just shavings before they become shavings.

Well, then.  That was OK.

We went in the ring and she made me go this way and then go that way and play Hide My Hiney a lot.  I did not feel like hiding my hiney, but then she gave my hiney a Super Bad Look and growled and flicked the rope snake at it.  I was SCARED!!!!!!!  I reared up.

Yes.  I did.  I made my front hoofs leave the ground and there was my rider with the rope and I thought that the look she had just given my hiney was bad, but it was not anything like the look she gave me when my front hoofs left the ground.  I thought it was going to make a hole in me, that look.

And then she spoke.  She said Huey. Did you just rear on that rope?  You reared?!?

And I said Yes.  I did.  Oops.

And she said Oops is right.  I know you want to be the Wild Horse.  But you cannot be the Wild Horse AND get to live in the barn AND get to ride AND get apples and carrots and lots of hay three times every day.  And Wild Horses definitely do not have Licky Treats.

So I said I do not get to ride anyway.  And she gave me a Stink Eye and said Do not back-talk me, you idiot.  That was very bad you going up in the air like that.  You are NOT supposed to do that.  It is too dangerous.

So I said I am sorry.  I will not do it again.

And she said I was going to let you do some running, but now I am thinking that Wild Horse is going to take your brain and make you do something crazy and stupid and then it will be a very long time before we get to go out riding again.  I need to know I can trust you.

I said You can, I am not being the Wild Horse now.  I will try to be a Good Horse.  Please let me run some.

So she made me do some more go this way, go that way, hide the hiney, back up, and then she said OK.  You can NOT be some crazy lunatic!!  If you are, then you have to to RIGHT back to your stall.  We are going to run a little, and I am going to be there holding this rope, so you are having to be careful.  And I am saying I will!

And we did.  She said OK, Huey, let’s go, nice and slow.  And she started running a little, and I started making a nice and slow trot. 

It felt so good.  I cannot tell you, that is how good it felt.  It has been ages.

So I did it a little more, and then my feet said Let’s make a buck!!!  And before I could make them not, they kicked up in the air behind me.

But my rider was there and said HUEY.  HO.  And she made those feet stop.  She said I said no crazy stuff.  That was a little crazy.  And I said I know.  I could not help it.  It was those feet.  So she said We will see if those feet are so rebellious after some more of this boring work.  And then she made me go here and go there and Hide My Hiney and back up.  Then she said Do you think you can keep those feet from going crazy?  And I said Yes.  We are all good now.

And we were.  My rider ran off a little, and I trotted right with her.  But when she said Ho. I stopped.  Then we got to go the other way, and I was the best horse at stopping.

And it still felt so good.  And then, I was right, there WERE apples.  And when I went back to my stall, there was HAY.  So I am being the Wild Horse all day, and at night, I am back to being the Good Horse.


My rider said if my leg owie isn’t worse tomorrow, maybe we can go trotting again. I hope so.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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