Wild Horses Do That.


Hi!  I am still being a very bored horse.  I am just wanting to make sure everyone knows that!!!!

This week it has been being better though.  First, it has been raining a lot.  And that is meaning that NO horses can ride, not just me, Huey not being able to ride.  It is not making it a lot easier to be standing around in this stall all the time but it is being better when I am not having to watch other horses getting to have good exercise.

And.  My rider says my leg owie is getting to be better.  It is not better enough to be riding, but it is better than it was.  Maybe we will be riding soon!

Then.  All of that rain?  It made the biggest mud puddles EVER in my turn out.  I am not having a very big turnout, it is too small to really run around in much, but it is making very good mud puddles in the rain!!  And I am eating my hay in the morning and in the afternoon and in the evening, and I am saying Huey!  And then I am saying What?  And I am saying Huey, you are being one bored horse there and I am knowing that you are really wanting to be one Wild Horse!  And here is what you are doing about that!  And I am saying What? What? What am I doing about that?

And then I am saying You are not drinking out of those big plastic buckets that get filled up with water in the morning and the night.

But then I am saying I am not?  But I am a thirsty horse!!

And then I am saying No! You are not!  You are drinking from something else.

But I am saying What am I drinking from if I am not drinking from those buckets?

And I am saying Huey, you are drinking from the mud puddles.

And them I am saying Yes!  I am drinking from those mud puddles!!!

And I am doing that very thing.

But then my rider comes and she is seeing me do this and because she is a Worry Wart she is saying Huey!  Do not drink from those mud puddles!!  Use your nice clean buckets!!

But I am saying Rider, you are not understanding.  I am being a Wild Horse and Wild Horses are all the time drinking from lakes and rivers.

But she is saying Huey, you do not have any lakes and rivers here.

And I am saying I know.   I am not having lakes and rivers.  But I AM having mud puddles.

And I put my nose right in there, and I slurped that water up, and I said YUMMY.

My Worry Wart rider made that noise like the wind in the trees with her mouth and said Oh Huey. You are going to take ten years from my life.

But I said Why would I do that?  What would I be doing with ten years from your life?  I do not want that thing.

And then she is shaking her head and making me go out and get brushed.  Again.

Now it is getting cold and windy, and you know what that means.

It means getting ZAPPED.

Yes.  It is ZAP time.  I do not like to get ZAPPED you know.  My rider said she knows, and she is getting me a Special No ZAPPING Blanket this year.  We will see.

So here is the other thing.  All the other horses get to run around in the ring and get to go for rides.  Except me, Huey.  That is because I still have a leg owie.  I have had that leg owie forever.  I am bored.  My rider says I cannot go riding until that leg owie is one hundred better.  Or something.  All I know is that the other horses have jobs and I do not.

Here is the other thing I know.  My new stall, the one with my own private paddock?  It is right next to the ring.  Not the long part of the ring where a horse can really pick up some speed!!! It is next to the small part of the ring where a horse has to make some turns.

And do you know what I figured out?

I figured out that my paddock is exactly as long as that small part of the ring.

Yes.  I can run, and it is like running on the small part of the ring.

I am a very smart horse for figuring this out.

I will tell you some more about that in a minute!!  But first, this week has been even more boring than usual.  That is because there is something wrong with my rider.  She came in one morning to brush me and I said Rider.  You smell weird.  But she did not listen to me.   Then the next day, she came in and she looked funny and still smelled weird.  And she was making a noise with her mouth, like the dog makes when he runs around and barks at things.  But she did not sound like a dog.  I said What is that noise you are making, rider?  And she said Huey, it is a cough.  So I said OK it is a cough.  Are we going for a walk this morning?  But she said No.  She said I can’t go for a walk because I am coughing.  I cannot even breathe when I am picking out your feet!

And she was right.  She picked out my feet and I was a very good horse and stood totally still, but then she was making a lot of noise with her mouth and then guess what she did?

She leaned against me.  She said she needed to rest.  I made myself be the best resting horse EVER.  And then she said Thank you.  We will go walking again when I am better.

Well.  I knew it was not going to be lots of exercise on the road and snacks of grass for me.  But.

Then I remembered I am the Wild Horse.  And that is when I got the idea.

Elvis helped me.  He was getting all brushed, which he does not like, and then getting tack put on.  And he was saying Huey, I am having to go work, and you are laying around in your paddock.  That means you are the lazy horse.

But I am saying I am not a lazy horse, Elvis!!  You are!

But he is saying I am a horse that is working, and you are a horse that is not working.  That sounds like lazy to me, Huey.

He is wrong.  I am NOT lazy.  But he is right, too.  I am not working.  I am wanting to be working, though!!

That is when I started to get my idea.  Then there is Elvis going off and he is in the ring and I am outside in my paddock, and every time Elvis is coming to the end of the ring near my paddock, he is saying Don’t feel like you need to work, Huey.  We serious horses have that under control.  And he is saying How are you liking to watch my rider, Huey?  She is A LOT better than your rider, I know it!!!

And I am getting madder and madder.  Because my rider is great even if she is not so good, and it is not fair of Elvis to be saying these things to me.  It is not like I am wanting to always be standing around!!!!

And then I had my idea.  I walked down to the far end of my private paddock, and Elvis ran around a couple more times saying things to me about being a lazy horse. And then, when I was ready, here he is coming down that long part of the ring.  And he is opening his mouth and I am knowing that he is going to say some smarty pants thing to me.  So I am saying FIRST.  Elvis!!  You want to run so fast, you can catch me!!

And then I am jumping up in the air a little bit, and I am RACING him back to the barn!!  And I am WINNING.  And he is being very surprised!!!  And then I am sneaking back to the end of my paddock again, and there is Elvis coming, and I am saying I will beat you back to the barn AGAIN Elvis!!! Hahahah!!! and I am taking off running.

And he is still being very surprised.

I am being a Smart and Wild Horse.

But then someone is coming and making me go into my stall and closing the door so I cannot go out and race Elvis any more, and that is not being fair.

Then my rider is coming in and I am saying Rider!!  This is not fair!! And Elvis is telling my rider that I am being a pest, and Elvis’s rider is telling my rider about me racing Elvis, but she is not telling about me beating Elvis.

And then my rider is making that noise like the wind going through the leaves.  And she is saying Huey.  What are you doing?

And I am saying I am being a Wild Horse!! And I am BEATING Elvis!!!!!!  And you are being proud of having such a Strong and Fast Wild Horse?

But she is saying Huey.  You cannot be doing that.   It is being bad for your leg owie.  And it is scaring the other horses.

And I am saying I am scaring the other horses?  The other horses thing I am scary?

I am not used to being a scary horse.  But I will do that, if I need to!!  Some horse has to be a Scary Horse!  And if I scare them, they will all respect me.  So them I am saying OK I will be the Scaring Horse!!!!!

But my rider is saying No.  You cannot be the Scaring Horse.  Or the Racing Horse or the Bucking Horse.  You are having to be the Patient Quiet Good Standing Around Getting The Leg Owie Better Horse.

And I am saying I have tried to be that horse, but I do not want to be that horse any more.  Being that horse is being too boring.  I need to be a more exciting horse.

So we decided that I could be the trotting slowly down the long part of the ring horse, but not with a rider yet.  Only on the line.  It is better than being the bored standing around and getting laughed at by other horses horse.


I beat Elvis racing EVERY TIME. And I would do it AGAIN if I didn’t have to go in my stall and eat some hay when other horses are going riding in the ring now.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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