I Am A RIDING Horse Now!!!!!!!


Yesterday, the V came.  My rider brought me out and said to stand still while he looked at my owie.  He looked at it and I stood still.  Then he wanted to touch it, and I stood still.

Then he put cold wet stuff on it and I said I do not like that cold and wet.

My rider said You go out all the time in the cold wet mud, and you are not pissy about that.

I said Mud is different.  It is a Horse Thing, mud is.

She said This cold wet stuff is for his magic wand.

I said What magic wand is that?

And my rider said It is the magic wand for looking at owies.  He used it when he was here before.

He did.  I remember that now.  It was more owie then.  It is not owie at all now.  But I did not like the cold wet stuff.  So I stamped my foot.

My rider said Huey. Stop that.

But I said I do not LIKE that cold wet stuff!! And I stamped my foot again because that might make it go away.

Then my rider gave me a Stink Eye.  It was only a little one, but she said STOP THAT.  Leave that foot ON THE GROUND. NOW.

I do not like getting Stink Eyes from my rider.  Even when they are little.  I know that they can start out little, and then get big, and I really do not like big Stink Eyes from my rider.  She makes the worst Stink Eye in the barn!!  So I put my hoof down and I left it there.  It was not for very long anyway, and my rider dried my leg off before I went back into my stall and had some hay.  There was a lot of talking, and my rider was excited about something, but she just left so whatever it was it does not matter.

Then she was there this morning.  And she was wearing her special pants and boots that she only wears when she goes riding.  I do not get to be a riding horse any more because of that owie.  I knew she was going to ride some other horse again, maybe Elvis.  And I do not like that, but now when she goes riding another horse I get extra hay in my stall, and I do like that!  So I thought maybe it was going to be time for more hay.

I thought maybe we were going to lunge.  I lunged the other day and made a Wild Horse in the pen and I got into trouble.  My rider says there is an OK time to be the Wild Horse and a time that is not OK to be the Wild Horse, and if she is in the pen with me, it is the not OK time.  I mostly know that anyway, but I forgot.

I reared.

Yes.  I know.  Only bad horses rear.  That is what got me into trouble.  I was in so much trouble my rider made me run in small circles until snot came out of my nose.  I made a sweat!  I ran that much!!!  I like running, but I do not like running like that.  My rider says maybe I will remember this next time I decide to be Wild in the pen and think about lifting my front hoofs off the ground.

Maybe.  I do not know.  That is in the future, and who can know the future?  Not a horse.

So I thought maybe I was going to lunge, and the lunge line was there, and I got my new boots on.  But then my rider went away again, and when she came back she was wearing her special riding hat.  And she had my SADDLE!! And I knew it! We were going to go riding together!!! She was not going to be riding on some stinky old horse from the barn! She was going riding with me, Huey!!!!  I put my head up and I stuck my ears out and I said RIDER!!! WE ARE GOING TO RIDE NOW?

And she said YES!!!!

I was so excited I started dancing around in the ties, and she had to say Huey, stand still, I cannot do these buckles with you dancing like that.

Then I did have to lunge because she said I might still have some bugs in my brain.  I did not think so, but I did what she said anyway.

And then we went to the block.  She cannot just jump up on my back because I am a very big horse.  So she has to step on something.  But the block was not where it was when we were riding before, and it scared me a little bit being in a new place.

My rider said Huey. Do not be silly.  It is just the block.

And it was, so I stood next to it.  Then she got up, and I gave my very best walk ever.

Yes.  That is right.  I was so happy and I put my ears out and I made a huge walk.  And we walked around and across and made a circle, and I just wished Elvis was there so I could show him how a really good horse carries my rider around.  Yes.  It was just me, Huey, and my rider.

Then she asked me to stand for a minute, and I was listening so good I stopped right away.  I remember this.  It is the part where I have to be the standing still horse, and I was the best standing still horse ever.

But then do you know what happened?

She got down.

I said Why did you get down?  My saddle is on right.

But she didn’t say anything at all.  She just ran the stirrups up.  You know what that means?

It means we are done.

I said We are done?

And she said Yes, you are a good horse!  We are done.

But I said How can we be done?  We just started!!!

And she said We have to take it carefully or that leg owie will come back and stop us from riding again.

But I said I can go some more!!!  I want to go with you!  We have not even trotted yet!!!

But she said I know.  I want to ride more too.  But we have to be slow about this!  You are the best horse Huey!! And then she gave me a huge scratch.

am the Best Horse.  I will be the Best Horse again tomorrow, because that owie does not hurt at all!!!

It was only a little walking around, but now the other horses will have to stop calling me lazy! I am ready to work!!!


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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