I Need A Fix


As day succeeds day here in the Blighted Northeast I grow more and more irritable.  Europe has been getting all of our snow for the last month.  Now the midwest has gotten our snow.  They’re struggling under the weight of feet of heavy, wet snow – the kind that brings down power lines, the kind the brings down trees, the kind that causes cardiac events in people who need to shovel it.

The kind we know exactly what to do with in New England, because that’s the only kind of snow we get.

Or got since we haven’t had bupkus for snow since Halloween a year ago.

Ski season ended a full month early last year, and it’s getting off to a very slow start this year.  The days it’s been cold enough to make snow are in the sad, feeble minority.  The days when wet garbage other than snow has fallen from the sky are in the aggressive obnoxious majority.  The days when the conditions have been minimally acceptable equal 6.  The days when conditions have been minimally acceptable that I have not been otherwise irrevocably committed to things other than skiing equal 0.  The days when skiing conditions have sucked because of ice, warmth, rain, and high winds equals the days I have planned to go skiing.

I’m feeling jinxed, here. I’m sure that the owners and operators of the ski areas feel this even more so.  But right now, I’m too wrapped up in my own misery to spare them any attention.  It’s Friday.  I should be, at this very time, booting up in the lodge.  Instead, I am at home watching sheets of cold rain wrap out of the sky.


I lived in Wisconsin for 6 years, and so I’m getting a direct second-hand recounting of this tremendous storm.  I’m seeing the pictures, hearing the stories.

And all I can think is “You lucky bastards.  Getting real snow from the real sky.”

I shared this sentiment with Roy, who simply said “You are an addict.”

He then elaborated on that thought. “The kind that picks up cigarette butts from the street and lights them just in case there’s still any smokable tobacco in the filter.”

You know what?  He’s right.  And I’m still jealous of Wisconsin for getting all that snow.  It’s easier to put a power line back up than it is to manufacture a wide-scale snow base.

My name is Lori, and I need to ski.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

2 responses »

  1. Even though I’m not a ski addict, being a beneficiary of this most recent Wisconsin snowfall/windfall, I can empathize from the other side. We were cheated of significant snow or precipitation of any sort this past year. When I moved here, I hated cold weather; but in the 10 years I’ve lived here, I have come to understand if not embrace the Stockhold Syndrome. Through April and May of this year my circadian rhythms were completely amuck as some internal snow anticipator continued to wait like a dog at the door for a master that wasn’t returning,

    Yesterday’s “snow event” (I still don’t think it was worthy of that esteemed term “blizzard”), was a balm. I feasted in paradise driving around in my 4WD monster (politically correct only in relation to a Hummer); chugging through mounds of snow the plow either missed or heaped higher; enjoying miserable conditions that kept me safe because they kept most others off the road; experiencing just days before Christmas the joy of not having to stand in line at UPS, the post office, or any other open business; and mostly just feeling that exhalation of Wisconsin earth embracing mounds of snow and whispering “Home at last”.

  2. AAAHHHHH…Now I need to ski ten times more than I did this morning. Fortunately, the ski hill has just posted on FB a picture of snow falling on the mountain. Now I’m hoping to wail off to the hill tomorrow. I’m also kind of hoping to see some flakes here at home.

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