We Are Big And Red!


My rider came this morning when I was eating breakfast in my stall.  She said Hi Huey! But I did not say anything at all because I was too busy eating.

A horse gets hungry overnight!

Then later I said Where is my grain?  And there was my rider, with my grain, so I said Pour that grain in my bucket now, rider! But she said Huey you are not the boss of me.  Get back.  But I could not get back.  It was time for my grain!!!  She said I was not going to get any grain at all until I went back.  I did not believe her, but there she was, making that noise she makes when she wants me to go away for a little while. She was holding that grain bucket!  I could not get any of it!!  And she kept saying Get back you bossy horse.  You are not the boss of me.  This is MY grain and I will share it with you but not until you move away!!  Well, I wanted that grain pretty badly by then, so I backed up.  And then, she poured it into my bucket!!!  I stuck my head right in there and sucked up a bunch of grain with my lips.  It was so good I put my head up in the air and shook it.  My rider said Huey. When you do that you put grain all over the floor.

She is right.  I do put it all over the floor.  But you know what?

That means there is more grain later!  When I come in, there is always grain on the floor of my stall!  I am saving it for a snack!!!  That is because I am a Smart Horse.  Other horses just eat all their grain, and then later I am eating my snack and they are all saying Why is Huey getting to eat grain and we are not?  And I tell them this is because they are not Smart Horses like me.

Then I was done with my grain for now.  And there is my rider, so I said Hello rider!!!  It is being a good day!  And she is giving me a Stink Eye and saying Huey.  What is this I hear that you are racing around your paddock like a lunatic, and bucking?  And rearing?  You are rearing?

And I am saying Well, yes, that is right.  I am racing around and bucking and rearing.  That is so the other horses will know that I am the biggest and bravest horse in the barn.  Besides, those other horses have been going and doing some work and it has been too long since I have been doing any work, and I am bored.  The sun is shining and the wind is blowing and I am hearing the worms start to move around in the dirt, and that is meaning that grass will be coming soon.  And the ice is gone. I am feeling like being a racing around horse again.

She made the Stink Eye go away and said I guess I can understand that.  But you are not doing that to people or you are getting into Very Big Trouble with me!

I said Of course I am not doing it to people!  Just to the other horses! And to the sky, and maybe to some clouds.  And to a lot of birds, they are here now too, and they need to know I am the Wonder Horse.

Then I said So, rider.  When are we riding again? All the horses say it is being time to go riding.

She said We are riding after all the snow is gone from the ring.  It is only half gone now.  So I said I will go out in that ring and make that snow go away!!  But she said And there is one more thing.  You took your shoes off and lost them, and we cannot go riding when you are not wearing shoes.

I said We did that before.

But she said Yes we did.  And remember, it made a small leg owie for you? And then we had to do lots of poky riding around?  That is because you have to wear shoes when we ride.

She was right.  We did ride without shoes, and it did make my leg owie.  Not like the owie I had last fall.  A smaller owie than that.  But all that poky riding was very boring, especially since Elvis got to jump.  And you know how he is.  All I was hearing all day long was Huey! You old horse! Did you have a nice slow short walk?  Did you see me making huge jumps?  When are you going to jump, Huey?

I hate Elvis.  I am making sure that he is getting to see a lot of my rearing and racing around.  I will jump out at him soon, and scare him, and then I will be laughing.

But that is not yet.  My rider said So, Huey, guess who is coming today?

I said I know!  You are!!

But she laughed and said I am already here!  Someone else will be here!  And it is Mr. Randy!

Well, then I was excited because Mr. Randy takes care of my hoofs.  He is a farrier.  That is a special Horse Hoof Person.  Sometimes he just makes my hoofs look nice, like last time.  Sometimes he does other stuff.  And guess what that other stuff is?

It is putting shoes on a horse.  For riding!!!

Then I was very happy because I thought that maybe Mr. Randy would be putting my shoes back on and that would mean it was almost riding time.  And that is what happened!!!  My rider had some old shoes and they fit and Mr. Randy put them right on my feet!!

Then I had to paw the ground for a while because I was wearing shoes and they felt strange after not wearing shoes.  And then my rider said HUEY. STOP THAT.  And when I turned around I saw she was giving me a very big Stink Eye.  So I stopped pawing.

After that Mr. Randy left and I said We are riding now, rider?  But she said No, remember, the ice has to go from the ring.  We are going in the Round Pen.  I am wanting to see if you are remembering your lessons.  And you are getting some exercise, because you have been One Lazy Horse this winter, standing around waiting for food.

I do not mind the Round Pen as much as I mind lunging. I have to lunge in my bridle, and the lunging line pulls on my bit and I do not like that.  I am a Sensitive Horse and my mouth is sensitive too.  But in the Round Pen I am just a naked horse, usually, like a wild horse.  No blanket, no tack, not halter, no nothing.  Just me and my hair and my teeth and my hoofs.  Also, the rider.  She takes the middle of the ring.  Mostly that is OK but sometimes there is trouble because I feel like cutting across the ring, but she says This is my space and you better get out of it right now, Huey!

And she is right.  I had better get out of that space.

Today, I was being a Good Horse and not trying to make a mess in my rider’s space.  I was being a Respectful Horse.  And I was being a stretching and running horse.  I was not really running.  I was trotting.  But it was a feeling good trot!! And my rider was saying Yes, Huey.  And she said Walk Huey and I remembered to walk.  And she said Trot Huey and I knew that meant for me to trot.  And I did only one piece of cantering.  I do not like cantering in the Round Pen so much because it is not a big enough place for me to canter.  I have a very big canter!  My rider says it eats the ground!

Then I got a huge scratch and my rider said Huey! You are being Good and Smart!  You are remembering what you are supposed to be doing!

I said Of course.  I am not a dummy.  Not like some of the horses around here.

I got a big scratch and I got my blanket back on and when that happened I smelled something.  I smelled a German Horse Muffin.  I knew my rider had one!! And I said Rider! Give me that muffin!  But she said Huey, you have to wait.  And do a stretch.  So I did the stretch but she did not give me the muffin, she just laughed and said Please wait until I am done putting this blanket on before you make a stretch!  So I did.  And then there were two German Horse Muffins and both of them were for me.

On the way back to the paddock, guess what I saw?  It was in my paddock.  It was a huge pile of hay.  All for me!  I went to go get it but then my rider said HUEY! HUEY! GET OFF!!  And I said What? And she said You are on my foot, Huey! Get off it!!  So I picked up my foot and I said I saw the hay and it made me excited.

She said I know, but you need to pay attention to things Huey.  You have big hard hoofs.  I have small soft feet.  It hurts me when you stand on me.

I said You do not have small feet.  You are a big person, like I am a big horse!  And we are both red.  A big red person and a big red horse!  That is us! We are together!!

And she laughed, and made a crinkly sound in her pocket, and then there was a peppermint!  I have not been having a peppermint in a very long time!!!  It was so good I even forgot about my hay pile!  But then I remembered and went to eat it.

I hope we are going to be riding soon!


That is me and my rider. See? We are big, and we are red!


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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