I Am One Surprised Horse!!!!!


Today it is being very nice.  First, it is warm and there is very good mud to squish around with my hoofs in the paddock.  And I was able to get a bunch of that nice squishy mud on my face!! It is not being easy to get mud on your face when you are a horse, but I am being a very smart horse and I am doing that thing!!  Next, there are a bunch of new horses here.  That little mare that bosses all the other horses around and teaches the little kids to ride is here.  She has been being somewhere else all winter.  And there are a bunch of horses that I have never seen before.  Everyone says that one of them looks just like me!!  I am saying No he does not, because I am being a bigger horse.  And I am more handsome too.  But he is having a big white stripe on his face like me, and he is being red too.  But he is not big and red.  He is only red.

Then, my rider came.  She is coming more now that it is being warmer.  She walked over to my paddock and picked up my halter, so I knew what was happening. It was a going to the barn and standing around day.  I was right.  We went to the barn.  I said Goodbye, small red horse!  Stay out of my paddock!  But he is not a bold horse so he did not say anything at all.  He did not go in my paddock either, and that was good because I was leaving some hay on the ground there for later.

We got into the barn and I was right.  My rider was showing me a new curry comb that she said was being very good for my hairs.  I was knowing something then.  I was knowing that she was going to start talking about dirt again, and saying things like Huey you are such a dirty horse.  I was right then too.  She put that curry comb on me and said Huey you are such a dirty horse.  And then I knew it was going to be a bunch of talk talk talk talk about dirt and hair, so I am falling asleep because that new curry comb was feeling  very nice.

I am thinking that my rider must really be loving dirt.  That is all she talks about.  Dirty horses.  Dirty hair.  Dirty hoofs.  Dirty tail.  Dirty mane.  It is the most boring thing because what is there to say?  It is dirt.  I am a dirty horse, and I am liking to be a dirty horse.  I am knowing she will be taking all that mud off my face, but then she will be going away again and I will be putting that mud right back on.  So she is talking and talking and I am not listening at all except to the noise of her voice and I am getting a bunch of nice scratchy brushing and it is being nice and warm with no cold wind and no zaps, and I am one horse who is going to fall right asleep in those cross-ties.  Even Clay was falling asleep in the stall and not being a pest like always.

Then the brushing was over and my rider was not talking anymore, but she was going away.  I thought she was going to get my blanket, and I was thinking it was time for doing Treat Stretches.  But then there was a lot of noise, and when my rider came back she was carrying something, but it was not my blanket!  Guess what it was?!?!?

You will never guess, so I will tell you.

She was carrying my saddle.  And wearing that hat.

I said Rider! You are carrying my saddle!  Why?

She made that noise like the wind in the leaves and said Huey. I have been telling you about this for the last ten minutes.

And I said What have you been telling me?  I was not being a listening to words horse, I was being a falling asleep horse because I thought you were being a talking about dirt again person.

She laughed and said Huey.  I have been telling you that we are going riding today.

Well.  Riding?  We are going riding today?  It has been a very long time since we have been going riding!!!!  And now, I am being a surprised horse because I am not expecting to be going riding!!!!  But there it is, my saddle and the bridle and the special hat and everything!  But I said You are not wearing the right clothes.  And she said That is because I did not know we were going to be riding today either.  So these are just my standing around brushing horses clothes.  It is OK because we are not going to be riding for very long at all.

And we were not.  I got all dressed up, but my rider did not take me into the ring!  There was still being some snow on that ring, and she said We cannot go ride there yet.  And then we went into the little round ring.  I said This is not a riding ring!!!  It is a running around being a wild horse ring, and sometimes it is a waiting for the farrier ring, and it was a being a listening horse ring a few days ago.  But I have not ever been a riding horse here!

So my rider said I know.  It is a very small ring.  But we cannot go in the big one, and we are only going to be walking and not very long at that too.  But I said I can be a trotting horse! I do not have to just be a walking horse!!  And she said I know, and you are a very good trotting horse!  But it is being a very very long time since you are being a riding horse and I do not want to make your back and legs sore, so for right now, you are being a walking for only a little time horse.  But we are still riding!!

She was right.  I am happy to wear that saddle, because it is handsome and fits me very good, but also because it means I am being a horse with a JOB.  And that is being a very important thing, having a job!  So I had to go on the lunge line a little because my rider is saying there might be bugs in my brain that have to come out without a rider on.  But there were not.  So she said It is time to ride.  And then she wanted me to go next to a VERY SCARY THING!!!  It was BLUE!!!  And I dug my hoofs in the mud and said NO.  I did not want to go next to the Scary Thing!!

The rider made that wind noise again and said Huey. What are you doing.

I said I am afraid of that thing!!!  It is SCARY!!!!!!

She looked at the Scary Thing and said Huey. You are being silly.  Move up.

But I said I cannot! I am too scared!!  I do not know what that thing is!!!

Then the rider made a loud laugh.  She said Huey. You do too know what that thing is, and it is NOT a Scary Thing.  It is just the mounting block.

Well.  I looked at it some more, and then I was feeling like the very silly horse because it was the mounting block, and the mounting block is not a Scary Thing.  It is the thing that makes the rider big enough to get on.  We do not ever go riding without using the mounting block.  I guess there were being bugs in my brain after all!

I went next to the mounting block and my rider got on and I said OK! Let’s go! But she said No.  We can only walk.  So I said OK.  It will be being a very good walk!

And it was.  But just as I was getting nice and loose and thinking about making a trot, my rider said to stop with her seat.  I am being a very smart and paying attention horse so I stopped.  And then do you know what?

She got off.  That is right.  We walked for a little bit of time in the little ring and then she got down.  I was very surprised!!! And she said We are done for today Huey!  But I said What?  We just got started! How are we being done?!?!  But she said We are having to go for not very long, Huey.  We will be going for longer later.  And if you are being good and not hurting yourself and I am not hurting you, we are going to a show later.

Well.  A show.  I can do some poky walks if it means going to a show.  How I am going to be jumping in a show when I never get to jump at the barn I do not know.  Maybe we can do some jumping when we go for more poky walks.  I will see.


This is me and my rider and the little wild horse ring. The Scary Blue Mounting Block is not in this picture though.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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