I Am Being The Wonder Horse!


It has been being a very long time since I talked to you, and now you are thinking this is because nothing is going on and I am just still one bored horse.  But that is not true!  It has been being very exciting here!

Now, if you are listening to my rider you are thinking that I am a bossy horse and that it is not being easy for other horses to be getting along with me.  But that is not true.  It is only some horses, pesty horses or dummies, who are being horses that I cannot be getting along with.  There are other horses that are being just fine.  I cannot be going out with Elvis, because he is not a listening to me horse.  And I cannot be going out with Clay because he is a pest.  And then we are both fighting horses, which is fine with me because I like fighting, but it is not being fine with my rider or his rider, so that is not OK.  Also, he is a pest.

But, let me tell you this!  There are being lots of new horses out at this barn now!!! It is being SPRING!! And the grass is coming up and the little animals are coming out but there not any bugs to be bothering horses yet.  And lots and lots of new horses to meet and show who is the boss around here!! That boss is being me, Huey!

So this is being some days ago.  I am out in my paddock looking to see if maybe there is a little bit of grass, but there is not.  There is only mud.  But I like mud, so I am rolling around in it.  And in the paddock next to me, there is being a new horse.  That horse has been here for a little while, but not in the winter.  He has been here for the same time as the little red horse that looks like me, Huey.  And that horse is a grey horse.  We have not been having grey horses out at this barn.  Only red ones.  And dark brown ones, but mostly red ones.  But there is also a yellow horse, that is Lemon Drop, who is a very small horse.  But he is acting like a much bigger horse!!

There I was, playing with some mud and looking for grass, and that grey horse said Hey.

And I said Grey horse, are you talking to me?

And he said Yes.  You are looking like a Nice Horse.

So I said Yes.  I AM a Nice Horse.  And a Smart Horse and a Good Horse and a Handsome Horse.  That is because I am The Wonder Horse.

And he said You are The Wonder Horse?!?!  I did not know any Wonder Horse before!!

And I said Now you have met me.

Then we stood around for a while because it was warm.  He was there and I was here, but we were like horses in a herd standing around together.

Then that horse said I think we should be in the same paddock.

I said We cannot.  Laura put me here and you there.  That is a fence between us.  I know it does not look like much, but it is.

And that grey horse said You could come over here.  It is not a big fence.

But I said No, it is not.  But that fence will ZAP me if I touch it, and I do not like to get ZAPPED!!  I am not touching that fence.

And that other horse said OK. I see.

Then we stood around for a while more and there was the sun and the mud.  Then that grey horse said Can I come over?

But I said How are you going to come over?  There is a fence that will ZAP you.

And that horse said I do not care about getting ZAPPED.  I just want to come over there and be with you because we can make a herd together.

I thought about this and it was sounding like a good idea, because it is less boring to be in the paddock with another horse, as long as that horse is not Clay.  Nothing is ever boring with Clay.  But it is not fun either.

So I said Well, OK.  But you are not going to be eating my food, and you are not going to be pestering me.

And that horse said I am OK with that.

And then do you know what he did?

He scrunched himself down and he came under the fence.  It made a ZAP but he said he did not care.  And then he was there with me.  And we were horses together.  It was being a very good thing!! He was not being pesty.  I said I will bite you if you are a pest! And I made to show him I could bite his leg.  But he put his hoof up and said I do not want to kick you but if you bite me more I will.  I do not want to be fighting horses. Let’s just be standing around together horses.

So I said OK.  And we were.

My rider was gone for a very long time again.  She said it was something to do with tiles.  I do not understand what that is, or why she did not come to see me, but I was glad to see her anyway.  She got lost going to the paddock!! I saw her coming and I was going to say HI RIDER! but I had hay in my mouth, and then she looked at me and at the grey horse and then she looked at the small red horse in the other paddock and then she just stood there for a minute.  Then I ate the hay and said HI RIDER! and she said HUEY!! I was confused!!!!!  You are in there with another horse?!?!?

And I said Yes.  We are standing around together horses.

She made a circle with her lips.  And when she went to halter me, the other horse put his mouth near my butt and she said Horse! You better not start something there!!  But he said I am not starting anything.  I am just saying goodbye to Wonder Horse.  And I said We are not fighting horses.  It is OK.

And it was.

Then I got some brushing and that was good because I have itchy withers. And there were little riders out and Lemon Drop and Pepper were teaching them how to ride.  I am being very glad I am only having to teach one rider how to ride.  It is too confusing to teach many riders how to ride.  One is enough.

I thought we were going to ride, and my rider had the hat and there was my saddle, but when she went to clean my feet she made the noise like a wind in the tree.  She said Huey. Where is your shoe?

And I said What shoe?

She said The shoe that is not on your foot?

I said I don’t know.

She said Why did you take it off again?

But I did not take it off again.  It fell off.  A horse cannot be worrying about shoes that fall off.  Then she put away the hat and the saddle.  I said I thought we were going to ride? But she said we could not ride if I did not have my shoe.

That is too bad.  I wanted to ride. But then she said we would be going for a walk instead and there might be grass.

Well.  Grass.  It has been being a very long time since I have been seeing GRASS.  I am knowing that hay is really grass, but it is dry and crunch, not soft and sweet like real grass is.  And I am definitely an eating grass horse even though I am not getting to do that very often because people are being worried that I am not stopping before I get sick.

Then we walked out to the road, right next to the ring.  And I was being a Good Horse and not trying to run over my rider.  It is always hard to do that because that place is narrow, and it makes me feel squeezed and when a horse feels squeezed it wants to go forward fast!  But my rider is not liking it when I do that, and so I was trying very hard not to do that thing.

Then do you know what happened?

A HUGE RACKET broke out right behind me, and there were a whole herd of horses that were running right behind us!!!!  I jumped and got ready to run.  But my rider shook her head and made my halter move around and said CLAY!!!!! And then she made a Bad Word.

That is when I realized it was not a whole herd of horses running behind us, it was only Clay, and he was jumping and racing around in his paddock.  Do you know why he was doing this?

He was doing this to scare me and get me in trouble.  That is because he is a pest.  But when my rider yelled his name I knew what was up.  He was not fooling me for very long!!!  And I put my feet on the ground and I said Yeah Clay.  But I did not make a Bad Word because I am not that kind of horse.

Then my rider gave my neck a big scratch and said Huey, you are such a Smart and Good Horse not to get scared by Clay and trample me.

And I said I know.  Can I have some grass please?

And she said Yes.  Then I got to eat real grass.  There was not much of it at all, but it was very good.  I had to stop before I wanted to, but then I got my jacked on and I did some stretches and got Horse Muffins, and then I got to go back and show off my Horse Muffins to the grey horse.  He said they looked very nice but he did not try to take them.  That is because he is a Good Horse too.  Not a pest.

Now I am a waiting for the farrier horse.  I hope he puts my shoe back on soon, because it is time to ride! I will be showing that grey horse what Wonder Horses do in the ring!!!



About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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