It Is Good To Be A Getting A Massage Horse!!!!!


This has been being one very interesting week for a horse!  First, it is not being all hot like it was last week.  Last week I was a getting hosed every time I went riding horse.  I do not like baths but I do not mind getting hosed.  It is good to rub my jaw on the water from that hose!!!  Also, I always get to eat grass after I get hosed.  The bad thing about getting hosed is that the water all goes down to my belly and drips off and it tickles.  It is feeling just like bugs crawling there!!!   Then I have to swish my tail very hard and kick up because that is what a horse does when bugs are crawling on the belly.

I hate bugs.

This week I have not gotten hosed even once!!  Me and my rider did have a lesson.  I like lessons.  They are more interesting than when it is just my rider alone.  There are more things to do, and a horse really gets a good workout!  And then my rider is always saying Good boy Huey!! That was just right!!!  The thing I do not like about having lessons is that my rider expects me to do stuff I do not want to do, like using the bit.  I am always thinking it is best if I am in control of that bit.  This way it is not banging my teeth and it is not getting in the way of me doing anything I am wanting to do!! But lately, my rider says Huey, I am going to be in control of that bit instead.  Then I say No, I am.  And then she says No, I am.  And then I say No, I am, and I yank my head down really hard and sometimes this makes the reins slip, and I get the bit.  But lately it is not making the reins slip.  My rider is just holding on to them, and maybe I am getting my head down some, but then my rider is making my head go right back up.  So she has been controlling the bit instead and that is not as nice.

It has been being very hard on a horse too!  Because all the time my rider is wanting to make me bend.  I can bend.  But I am not a bending horse.  I am a jumping horse and jumping horses do not have to be thinking all the time about bending, bending, bending.  We are just having to think about where that jump is and making our strongest jump to go way up in the air and not hit our hoofs on that jump.  That is what I am best at.  But my rider says I cannot be a jumping horse now and I have to be a bending horse instead.  I am a Good Horse so I am trying.  But it is not working good for a long time, because my rider is pulling on my bit and that is making too much noise in my head, and I am not good bending. I am very good bending when I am not having a rider.  If there is a carrot I am bending all the way and putting my nose right there to my butt!!!!  But when I am walking and trotting with a rider it is not being so good.

This time in the lesson I am hearing Laura say “bend” and my rider is saying “Bend Huey!” with her mouth and I am bending.  But then she is saying it with the reins and I am not.  I am not that kind of bending horse.  So I am saying to my rider Stop that with the reins.  But she is thinking I am trying to control the bit but that is not being the case!!!!  And finally I am saying Rider!  Do not be bending me with those reins!  Be bending me with your leg only!!  And she is hearing me!!!!!!  And she is stopping all that stuff with the reins and she is just saying with her leg and seat Please bend Huey and I am saying YES!!!!  I am bending!!!   And then she is squirming around and saying Hey! Hey! Hey! Look! Look! Look! and Laura is saying Something is going good here! and I am saying That is me, I am going good! and my rider is saying Huey is bending!! He is doing it just right!!!

And I was.

Then my rider is not being any dummy and she is stopping that thing with trying to make me bend with the reins and using leg only and I am being a bending horse!  And this is being good.  I am still wanting to control that bit and she is still saying No, I will and we are arguing, but we are doing that while I am bending.

I am very glad that she is finally listening to me!!

And I am hoping that now we will be doing something interesting, like maybe jumping.

But today, I am having to do some work but not much, and it is all bending bending bending, and that is OK, and then we are having an argument about who will have the bit, but I am not even having to work until there is sweat under the saddle!  I am saying Rider.  That is not very much work.  I am not being a weak tired horse.  I can be doing more work.

But she is saying No Huey, I am having a Very Nice Surprise for a horse.  You are going to be loving this!

Well.  I am thinking it means GRASS because I am loving that!!  And it was being grass, but it was also being something else.  I was wanting to go to my paddock to see if maybe there was some hay there, but my rider is putting me back in the cross ties in the barn.  Then I am being one confused horse!  Because I was already in the cross ties a bunch of times, and we were not working more, my rider had said it!!

Then I got to see someone I have not been seeing in a very long time.  It was not being the vet.  It was not being the farrier.  It was not even being the dentist!

It was being the Horse Massage Person.

That Horse Massage Person is the best!!!!!  She is sometimes making ouchies on a horse, but then she is making those ouchies go away and feel better than everything was before the ouchie came!!!  And she is being quiet and liking a horse, you can tell.

She was getting to a spot on my shoulder where it was getting ouchies, and I put my head around and I said Horse Massage Person.  Be careful there.  My rider thought the Horse Massage Person could not hear me so she said He is worried you will hurt him.  And my rider is saying to me Huey.  She is a Professional.  You do not have to worry.

And I am saying What is a Professional.

And she is saying That is someone who is being very good and smart at a particular thing.  You are being a Professional Horse, which is meaning you know exactly when to walk and trot and canter and go over jumps and you are knowing when the saddle is not just in the right place too.  And I am saying That is right.  And when are we going to jump?  But she is saying instead This is a Professional Horse Massage Person and she is knowing exactly where to press on your body to make everything work right and feel good.  She is not going to hurt you, you can be a trusting and relaxed horse now.

And she was right.  So I put my head down and closed my eyes and then my lip went down like it does, and everyone laughed, and then a very long time later, I was feeling like maybe I could be a kicking the sky horse and a racing around horse.  That does not mean I kicked the sky.  I found some hay in my paddock and it was being more important to eat that than to kick the sky.  But I was feeling like I could have been.

So it is being a very good week, and maybe tomorrow I will be able to get my rider to listen to me when I tell her that I should be in control of that bit!!!


This is not the Horse Massage Person. This is my friend Rachel. She cleans up my stall sometimes, and sometimes she rides me. She is a better rider than my rider, even though she never lets me control that bit.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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