Dear Santa


It is me, Huey.  Really, my name is being Huey The Wonder Horse, but I am liking you very much so it is OK if you are calling me Huey.  My rider is saying that you are only coming for good horses and not naughty ones, and she is also saying I am being a naughty horse so if you are coming you will only be bringing me nasty things like bute paste.  But it is not being true.  I am not being naughty.  I am just being bored. Even though Peaches is there next to me and trying to boss me around over the zapping fence, I am still being bored.  But not naughty.  So I am hoping you will be coming for me and not bringing anything nasty.

Last year I am asking you for my rider not to be spraying me with smelly pink stuff, and I am getting that!! I am still getting sprayed, but now it is with different stuff, it is not pink, and it is not smelly!  So I am knowing that you will give me what I want.

Here is what I am hoping you will be bringing me, Santa.

I am wanting some more of the German Horse Muffins.  I am wanting a bunch of them, like maybe enough to fill my whole stall.  I am telling my rider this and she is saying I would only be making myself sick by eating them all at once, but that is not being true.  I will only eat a lot of them, not all of them.  I am wanting some of the regular kind, but I am really wanting the special kind with the PEPPERMINT.  I am having a picture of that so you are being sure what it is I am wanting.  This is it.

That is being the best kind of Horse Muffin, the one with this thing on it.  When I chew that Horse Muffin it goes CRUNCH on my teeth, and then makes a BIG SMELL in my nose!!!!!!!!!  It is being a GOOD smell too!!!!!!  And all the other horses are saying I should give them some, but they are MINE.

And then I want carrots.  I am wanting a big pile of carrots.  I am wanting a pile of carrots as big as me.  My rider is not telling me I will make myself sick by eating all of them, so maybe I will eat all of them.  But I can only be doing that if you are bringing them to me.

And then I am wanting a new pair of Glitter Boots.  My rider thinks this is because the ones I have now have a broken strap on them, but that is not right.  I am wanting new Glitter Boots because the ones I have now are purple.  Purple is not being my color.  It is being Clay’s color, and it has been being very nice with him telling me all the time that I am wearing his boots, even though they are really mine.  But what I am wanting is a pair of green Glitter Boots, and that is because green is being my color.  I am looking VERY good in green!!!!!!!!!  So I would like to be getting some green Glitter Boots.  I am not needing them right away, though, because I am not wearing boots in my paddock when it is all snowy anyway.  They can get here by the spring, when it is time to start riding again.  Lot of spangles, please, Santa.

The last thing I am wanting is more snow.  I am not wanting snow that is all the way up to my tummy.  But I would be liking some snow that is up to my knees.  It should be being soft snow because that is the nicest to roll around in.  We were having some snow before, but it got warm and rained and now that snow is going away.  Also, it is being hard and not nice and soft to roll on.  I would be liking some big fresh snow and a lot of space so I can be running around in it a little, but mostly it is for rolling in.

Do not be listening to my rider, Santa, because she will be telling you not to come.  And that is not being fair.  I have been being as good as a horse can be!!  I am holding still for the farrier and I am not even trying to taste his shirt when he puts it right in front of my nose!!  I am not squirming around when I am getting my leg cold lasered, like I was before!  And I am not even trying to eat my rider’s boot!!  I have been staying put when I am getting brushed and not trying to walk all over the place, and even waiting while my tail gets combed all the time!  So I have been being a VERY GOOD horse, not being a naughty one at all!!!!

I will be in my stall waiting for you tonight, Santa.  Do not be bringing those flying deer, though, because they will be scaring Pumpkin and making the dog bark.  Just you, and all my Horse Muffins, and my carrots, and the snow.  Because I can be getting the green Glitter Boots later.

Your friend,




About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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