I Do Not Want To Make Another Horse!!!


Things are being good at the barn.  My fat eye is not fat any more.  I can be seeing all of the ground, too.  My food is not tasting nasty from the fat eye medicine.  My rider was making me eat a yukky paste, and I am not having to do that either.  And it is being all sunny, and you know what it means when it is getting sunny.

Grass is coming.

There is not being any grass now because there is still being snow and ice on the ground, but I am hearing it.  It is saying Huey! We will be there soon! And we will be TASTY!!!  I am knowing that I am only having to wait now.

It is also being the time when my hair is itching.  I do not want to be wearing a blanket any more but it is still being very cold at night, and sometimes during the day, so I am still wearing my blanket.

My rider was gone for a really long time.  Then she is coming to the barn, and she is saying Huey!!!  I have been missing you!!!

And I am being very happy to be seeing my rider, and so I am saying RIDER!!! YOU ARE HERE!!!!  And then I am remembering that this is not how a Dignified Horse is acting, so then I am saying And where is my treat?  Because it is being OK to be getting excited when your rider shows up if there might be being a treat.  It is not being OK to be getting excited if there is not going to be a treat.

Then we are going into the barn, and I am getting brushed all over.  Usually I am not being excited about brushing.  Usually it is just boring.  But it has been being a very long time since I am getting brushed, and my hairs are itching me.  So my rider is brushing me with the big curry and I am saying YES!! YES!! BRUSH IT THERE!!!!  And my rider is laughing and brushing me wherever I show her I am itching.  And that is being good.

Then my rider is picking all my hairs up off the ground because those are the Rules.  Horse hairs to go away after brushing in the barn!! That is important!!!!

And my rider is saying Huey! There is so much hair here I can make a whole other horse with it!!

What?!?!  Make a whole other horse?  And I am thinking about this.  Peaches has been making another horse all winter.  Her blanket is not fitting right any more because of the other horse she is making.  I am asking her about this, but she is telling me to Mind Your Business, Huey.  This Is A MARE Thing.  So it is a Mare Thing to make other horses.  I know this because I am being very smart and listening.

But my rider is saying she will make another horse.  So I am thinking about that.  My rider is making me do anything she says even when I am not wanting to do that.  This is a Mare Thing, being able to tell any horse what to do.  So I am saying Rider.  Are you a mare?

And she is saying Well, Huey, yes.  I am a mare.  But I am a Human Mare, I am not a Horse Mare.

And then I am thinking some more.  I am thinking that Peaches is making another horse, and that is what Horse Mares do.  Make more horses.  I am thinking that Human Mares should be making more humans not making more horses.  So I am saying Rider.  Are you making another human?  And she is saying What?  No.  No way.  I am not making more humans.

But then I am being confused.  How can a Human Mare being making another horse?  It is not making sense to me.  I am a smart horse, but this is being too smart for me.  I am not understanding that, but I am knowing one thing for sure.  I am not wanting another horse.  I am enough horse, just me, Huey.  So I am saying Rider.  I do not want you to be making another horse.

And she is saying What??  So I am saying I do not want you to be using my old hair to be making another horse.  I am not wanting another horse.

Then she is laughing.  And she is saying Huey!  I am not making a horse with your hair.  It is a joke!!!

Well.  I know what a joke is.  Clay is all the time making jokes.  They are stupid jokes but he is all the time laughing at them.  And Elvis is making jokes a lot too.  Clay makes his jokes on other horses, but Elvis makes his jokes on humans.  He has a very funny game that he is playing when someone is coming to get him for a lesson. He is laughing at this joke, and the rest of us horses are watching and laughing too.  It is very funny!  But I have not ever been hearing of a funny game where a person is making a horse.  I am not wanting to laugh at that.

I am just thinking that my rider should not be having more horses than me. And I am thinking that this pile of hair is not big enough for making a very big horse.  It would just be a pony.  And I am not wanting to be living with a pony, because they eat too fast and there is not being enough left over for me.  That is not being a very funny joke.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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