It Was NOT a Head-Eating Monster!!!!!!


I am having a very good time now, because it is being spring, and the Wild Horse Wind is blowing, and all the horses are coming to the barn.  We are being a Very Big Herd now!!!!  And I am not having to work.  My rider was there and she was not smelling right, and I was not wanting to go stand next to her.  I ran away. You are not smelling good, and I am being scared! I am saying to her, and she is saying That is because I am sick, Huey.  I cannot be running after you right now.  You must be coming here.

But I am not wanting to go there.  A Horse Knows.  But then she is walking up to me and I am making myself be a Standing Still Horse, and that is good, because then I am realizing something.  I could not be knowing this before because of the Sick Smell.  But there is another smell too.

It is being the smell of a CARROT.  So that is making it be easier for me to be the Standing Still Horse, and I am getting that carrot, and then she is saying she will be coming back later when she is not being sick any more, and I am just getting a pat.  So that is being OK.

A lot of the other horses are having to work right now, but I am not working because my rider cannot be riding me yet.  Yesterday it was being very cold and there was snow on the ground again, and I am thinking this is not being right.  What is being right when the sun is looking like that is it is being warm and grass is growing, not snow.  When there is being snow there is not being any grass.

The Wild Horse Wind came and made all us horses at the barn be Wild!!  The people were wanting us to stop being Wild but when that wind is blowing, a horse cannot be listening to a person it has to be listening to the wind.  And that wind is saying Horses!!  Run around!! Kick the sky!!!  Go, go, go!!!!

And so we did, we ran around and we kicked the sky and we were all Wild together.

Today there is not being a Wild Horse Wind, but there was being my rider.  But she is not being dressed up for riding.  Riding had special pants and some boots, but these were not those special pants and there were not being any boots.

It was not a Riding Day.

It was being a something else day.  And not being a Good Day.

That is because the something else was the V.  It was being a V day and I am getting shots.  I do not like getting shots because they are stinging my neck.  But my rider says that they will be keeping me from getting sick and making a Sick Smell.  I do not want to be getting sick so I am being a Good Horse and a Standing Still horse to get the shots.  But then I am getting very sleepy and wanting my rider to rub on my forehead.  Usually I am not being that kind of horse.  Then the V is coming back and he is making the big scraping on my teeth.  Then I am realizing it is not just shots time it is teeth time.  That is being good, because my teeth are needing to be done for a long time.  I do not like getting my teeth scraped, but I am being too sleepy to put my head in the air and make it stop, and I am wanting to get my head rubbed more.

Then I am having to go back in my stall!  And the V is holding my tail to keep my butt from falling over!!  That is because my feet are getting all tangled up, so maybe it is being better to go in my stall.  I am being fine there.  And then I am waking up some, and telling my rider it is time for me to be going outside.

She said Yes Huey, it is time, and I am having a very good treat for you!!!

But I am putting my nose on her hands and they are not smelling like a treat.  And I am putting my nose on her pockets and they are not smelling like a treat either.  So I am saying Rider, where is the treat?  And she is saying Just come with me, Huey.

And we are walking outside, and next to the ring, and then!!! I am knowing what that treat is!!!!! And it is being a very good treat!!!!!!

It is being GRASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not having GRASS for a very long time!!!!  And this is being the very best kind of grass.  NEW grass!!!  And my teeth are good, so I am able to be eating that grass very fast!!!!!!!!

It is being the BEST thing ever.

And then I am being One Smart Horse.  I am eating that grass and my rider is giving me a pat, and I am eating some more, and then I am putting my head up into the sky to look around, but it is not going up!!!!  It is STUCK.

That is when I am being Smart.  Because a Dummy Horse, like some horses I could think of around here, would get their head stuck and they would be thinking it is a Head Eating Monster and they would be PANICKING.  They would be jumping around and yelling and making a big racket and scaring other horses.

But because I am a Smart Horse, I knew that it was NOT a Head-Eating Monster.  I am thinking first that it is maybe being because I am standing on the rope.  And I am knowing this:  If your head is getting stuck because you are standing on the rope, all you are having to do is PICK UP YOUR FOOT.

And that is what I am doing.  I am picking up my foot, and my head is not being stuck any more!!!

Then my rider is saying HUEY!  You are a SMART HORSE!!!  That was very good!!!!  Smart boy!!!! and making a pat on my neck like I have just jumped a huge jump.

And I am saying Rider.  I am not a Dummy.  I am a Smart Horse, and then I am eating some more grass.  She is saying we will be riding tomorrow, but I am thinking maybe I will just be eating some more grass!!


I am wanting more grass!!!!


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner will take you right there.

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