Monthly Archives: August 2014

It Is Being A Bad Week.


I know I am not writing anything for a long time.  That is because there has not been anything to be writing about.  It is some riding, and it is some eating grass, and it is some talking to the other horses, and it is a very lot of bugs.  That is all.

But this week is not being like every other week.  This week is being a lot of trouble for a horse.  Last week my rider was being gone, and I am only going out once with the other rider.  And that is being OK, but I am missing my rider.

Then, my rider is coming back in the morning! And she is wearing riding clothes, so I am knowing it is time to go back to work.  I am one horse that is liking to have a job.  Not a horse, like some horses I can think of, who are just wanting to stand around and eat all day and get Hay Bellies.  I am being a trim, fast, working-hard horse!!  So I am happy to be seeing my rider and knowing we are going to be going out.  So I am trotting over to her and saying Rider! You are here!!  And she is laughing and saying I am here, Huey, I missed you! And even better she is scratching my withers.  This is being very good because they are being all itchy all the time.  That is from the bugs.

So we are being in the cross ties for a while, but then Rocket is coming in and he is saying Move, Huey.  I am getting my feet done now.  And we are moving into my stall, and I am getting scratched all over and it is feeling so good.  I am being one Very Happy Horse and thinking that it is a very good day!!  I am not liking going out to the ring because Rocket is not wanting to move over enough, and I am one Very Big Horse, and I am always thinking that there is maybe not enough room for me to go places.  My rider tells me I am being silly, that I am not that big, but still, it could happen.  I could get squeezed.

But I am not getting squeezed, and we are going in the ring and going to the block, and my rider is getting up on me, but then! There is being a problem!!!!! And it is being a VERY BIG PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not saying what that problem is, and that is because I do not really remember.  But I am knowing there was a VERY BIG PROBLEM because I am doing SOMETHING VERY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know. You are saying, Huey, what can you be doing that is so bad?  You are a good horse!  Not a bad horse that plays games with the block, not like some horses.

And I am saying, You are right. I am a good horse, but I was not being a good horse then!!  I could not help it, but I was being a BAD HORSE!!!! I was being the WORST KIND OF HORSE!!!

And now I am one embarrassed horse because I am telling you what happened.

I made bucks.

My rider was not even on, and I made a bunch of bucks, and I threw her.

Yes.  I was the Very Worst Kind of Horse.  The kind of horse that throws a rider.  And my rider was not even doing anything to make me throw her.  It just happened.

And then my rider was off and I could stop making bucks, but then.  It was being even worse!!!  My rider fell off before, and I was being one very embarrassed horse then because it is being my job to be the horse and her job to be the rider, and being the horse means being on the bottom and being the rider means being on the top but when my rider fell off, I was not on the bottom any more.  And that is meaning I am not doing my job, and that is being very embarrassing.  And then, my rider is getting up and patting herself and saying Huey, we are going back to the block and I am riding some more.  I am not wanting to because I am knowing what a Bad, Stupid Horse I have been, but she is making me go, and then everything is being fine.

But this is not being fine, because my rider is not getting up.  She is just lying there on the ground, making noises.  She is making Bad Words, but she is not getting up.  And then I am realizing it is even worse than the worst.  I threw my rider.  I made her stop being on top.  And now she is just on the ground.  I have had riders who fell off, because this happens, and sometimes they do not get up, and that is so Bad there are not even being any words for this.  And now I have made this happen.  Me, Huey, the Wonder Horse, has just hurt his rider with bucking.

I am realizing this, and Rocket’s farrier is coming in to hold on to my reins, but I am not going anywhere!!! I am standing there and watching my rider and waiting for her to get up and pat herself and say Huey, we are going back to the block, and it is not happening.  And I am thinking What kind of horse is doing this?  There is no horse in the barn that is being this bad.  Only me, Huey.

My rider is getting up but she is not walking right, like a horse being lame.  And she is not saying Huey, we are going back to the block.  She is saying Huey, what the fuck happened there?  What happened?

And I am not being able to tell her.  I am not being able to say anything.  I am not even being able to say I am sorry!  I am just standing there and I am not looking at her eye, and I am not sniffing her nose, and I am not saying anything at all.  Just looking at the ground, because I am being too bad to be talking to my rider.

Well, she is making me lunge, but it is not working very well because she is lame and cannot be walking.  I am remembering that she is not being lame when we are getting groomed, and I am knowing that it is me, Huey, who has been making her lame.  Very bad.  Very, very bad.  Then I am getting my tack off, and she is saying No grass today, Huey, I have to go to the doctor.  But I am not even thinking about the grass.  I am just thinking this:  very, very bad.  Bad Horse.  Baddest Horse.  Bad.

And then she is being gone.  And I am being there with the other horses, and they are all saying Huey! What are you doing! But I am not talking to them either.  That is being because I am bad.

And then it is a long time, and I am just being One Bad Horse, all the time.  My rider is not being there, and I am not even knowing what to think, so I am just thinking Bad, Bad Horse.

Then I am messing around in my paddock, looking for some pieces of hay, and there is a strange noise, and there is a smell I know, and there is a sound, and it is Huey! Hey Huey!

And it is being my rider.

And I am turning around and I am racing to the gate.  I am running as fast as a horse can!!  It is scaring the other horses, I am running that fast.  Sadie is saying Huey, you dummy, what are you running away from to scare us all?  But I am not caring.  I am not running away from something, I am running to my rider.  I am putting my head out over the gate as far as I can to get close and I am not even caring if the fence zaps me!! But I am not saying anything, either, because I am still thinking Bad Horse.

Then my rider is inside the paddock and she is saying Huey, it is OK.  We are OK.  It was an accident.  It better not happen again, but I know that you were not being a Bad Horse.  You are my buddy.  You would not be Bad to me like that.  You are OK, Huey.

And then I was OK, and I could be looking at my rider, but then I am being very surprised.  I am saying Rider.  You are having too many legs.  You are having the same legs as a horse.  And your new legs look very strange.  And she is saying Huey, that is because I am lame.  They are crutches.  I am borrowing the extra legs to make it easier to walk around.  And I am thinking, Maybe next time I go lame I could be borrowing a new leg so that I am not having to stand around in my stall too much.  But I am not sure about these new legs for my rider.  They are very strange.  I am wanting to smell them, all over.  And I am.  I am smelling one of them all over, and then I am smelling the other one too.  They are not smelling like a person.  They are smelling like the bars that keep me from being able to eat Rocket’s grain in the morning when we are all being in the barn.

I am not being sure about these legs, and I am saying That is too many legs for you to have when you are riding.  And she is saying We cannot go riding until I can get rid of the extra legs.  You have more vacation time, Huey.  And I am saying But I do not want more vacation time.  And she is saying Well, when a horse bucks a rider off, the rider gets hurt, and there is no more riding for a while, that is all.  I know that when I get an owie, there is no more riding, so I know about this, but I am not liking it.

Then I am wanting to smell those new legs again, but when I am doing that, I am smelling something else.  There is new leg, and there is rider, and then…there is Horse Muffin.  The good kind with the peppermint on it.  And once I am smelling that, I am not thinking about anything else at all.  Only peppermints.  And then I am getting them, and then my rider is saying Huey. Make a nose sniff.  And I am feeling better, and I am doing that.  And then everything is being OK.