I am writing last to be talking about having bucks and my rider getting extra legs.  Before that it is being the nice kind of boring that horses are liking.  Plenty of food, sun.  Too many bugs.

That is being then.  This is being now.  And now is being a very different thing.

I am noticing that horses are leaving, but this is happening sometimes anyways.  It is happening when it get cold, and some horses are going to live other places, except me.  I am not going anywhere, I am just living at the barn.  But it is happening now, when it is being hot.  Sometimes it is happening when there are shows, and I am going to lots of shows where I am jumping and making everyone impressed with me, because I am One Good Jumping Horse!!!!  But I am not going to shows in a very long time.  And I am thinking these horses are not going to shows either, because they are not getting baths first.  All horses are getting baths before going to a show.  This is because Show Horses Must Be Clean!!!!  That is being a very important rule.  Show Horses are also supposed to be getting braids, and none of these horses are getting braids before they are leaving.

So that is being strange.  Horses leaving when it is hot and not cold, and leaving when they are not going to shows. Sometimes when horses leave and they are not going to shows it is because of this:  they have gotten a new rider.  And the new rider takes them away to a new barn.  I am getting lots of new riders, but my rider now is telling me No More New Riders, just her.  And I am believing it.  And I am wondering how all these other horses are having new riders right now, all at the same time.  It is being very strange.

Then this morning there is being a lot of noise at the barn when I am being out in my paddock having breakfast.  I am hearing one thing:  my rider is being here.  But she is not coming to see me!! I am waiting, right there at the gate, for her to come see me, but she is not there!!  Just a lot of noise.

Then it is being a long time, and my rider is coming to see me.  She is not having so many legs this time.  Only three.  And she is not giving me treats over the gate, she is opening it up.  Having three legs is making it hard to open that gate, and I am trying to help, but she is saying Go back Huey. Let me in.  And I am saying I am only trying to help.

Then she is wanting me to go in the halter.  Having three legs is making her not good at that too, so I am thinking about walking away, but she is giving me a Stink Eye.  I do not have time for this shit, Huey, she is saying.  Go in the halter!

Well, I am not used to seeing her like this!!!  So I am coming back and putting my head down and going in the halter.  And we are walking toward the barn, but I am not believing what I am seeing.  There are trailers, and they are open, like for horses to be going in to!!!  And I am stopping!!!!!!!  And I am looking at this and saying Rider!! What are these trailers being for?!?!?  And she is saying Horses, dummy.  Move on.

But I am not understanding.  And then Laura is putting wraps on all my legs.  I am used to getting wraps on my front legs because that is protecting me against being lame again.  But I am not used to putting wraps on my back legs!!  And my rider is not being there, and I am not understanding this thing with wraps on all my legs, and I am not understanding ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!

And then I am knowing.  I am not wanting to be knowing this, but I am not a dummy, I am a Smart Horse, and I am knowing what all this is meaning.

I am thinking my rider is just being my rider always, but now I am knowing I am wrong.  I am getting a new rider.  I do not want to be getting a new rider!!!!!  I am thinking that I was a Very Bad Horse, and now I am having to go to a new rider!!!!!!!!!!!  I am not being happy about this at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then my rider is there, and I am saying I do not want to go to a new rider!!!!! I want to stay here!!!!!!!  And she is talking, but I cannot hear what she is saying because my words are taking too much space.  I do not want to go!!!!!!!!!!!!  But she is making me walk out anyway, and I am being right!!!!!!!!!  I AM HAVING TO GO IN THE TRAILER.  This is the worst thing ever.  My rider is still talking, and I am trying to run all over the place because this is being awful, and I am making my eyes open as far as they can be, and it is being so horrible that a horse is not having words for this.  And I cannot hear anything at all my rider is saying.

Then I am having to go in the trailer and Chip is being there, and I am thinking that I will now be going with Chip and Chip’s rider will be my rider.  That is not as bad as a new rider, but I am wanting my own rider and my stall and my paddock and that piece of grass I like to eat.  And then we are driving.  I am telling Chip What is going on?!?!?!  But he is not being happy about this either and he is saying Huey, shut up!!!  Leave me alone!!!!!

Then we are stopping.  I am thinking this is it, and here is where I will be meeting my new rider.

But when I am getting off the trailer, it is being all people I know! And there are horses here that I am knowing too!  And my rider is there saying Huey.  Huey.  Huey.  And I am saying WHAT IS THIS?!?!  WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!  And then the person who rides me sometimes, who is a better rider than my rider, is there and she is saying Huey, come with me.  And I am saying You are my rider now?!??!!  But my rider is saying No, Huey.  I am still your rider.  And then we are standing in a strange barn, and there is an open door, and I am saying I AM GOING IN THERE NOW!!!!  But my rider is saying No, Huey.  Wrong stall.  This is your stall.  And I am having to move.

Well, I am running into that stall too, I am telling you.  And my rider is there by the door saying Huey.  Listen to me.  We have moved.  All the horses have moved.  We just have a new barn now.  We are still together.  Everyone is here now.  Listen.  Here comes Sprite.

And she is right.  I am hearing Sprite come near, but I am not seeing her, and she is saying WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!? too.  My rider is saying This is your new stall, Huey.  This is a good barn. You are going to like it here.

But I am smelling the walls and they are smelling like other horses. And I am knowing this is not my stall.  My stall smells like me! Huey!  But my rider is making a move, and I am following her, because she is the only thing I am knowing, and it is taking a minute to realize something.  She is thumping on a grain bucket.

Well.  It may be some other horse’s stall, but a grain bucket is a grain bucket, and you never know that one might be having grain  in it, so I am checking it out.  And when I went up to it, I am getting one big surprise.

You will not be guessing what that surprise is, so I will be telling you.  It is being my grain bucket!!!!  It is smelling exactly like me!! And it is having the pieces of my salt lick and some of my breakfast still in there!!!!!!!  And there are water buckets, and they are my water buckets!!!!!!!!!  I am knowing exactly what they are smelling like, and it is being ME!!!!!!!!!

And I am eating that breakfast, and then someone is putting a whole flake of hay in there! And it is not even being lunch time!  A free flake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that is being something pretty good, I am telling you!!  And Sprite is saying Huey! Is that you? And I am saying Yes!!!!

And there is being a lot of noise still, but then my rider is coming back and she is having my Fly Mask, and she is having carrots.  She is making me do a Carrot Stretch for them, but they are tasting very good.  And!!!  There is being an APPLE!!!!!

I am not wanting to have a new stall, and going in the trailer, or having a new rider, but my rider says No, Huey, you were not right about that.  I am still your rider.  When I get rid of this extra leg we will be riding again.  We are good.

I am thinking maybe.  My rider is telling me there are a bunch of horses I know, and then there are being new horses, who have never gotten to meet me, Huey the Wonder Horse.  They will be showing me respect, or I will be telling them what to do.  It could be being good.


About Lori Holder-Webb

I'm a Southern Woman by birth and a Texan Woman by upbringing...and yet I find myself living in New England and married to a New York City boy. Up here we use the same currency as we do at home, and I don't need to travel with a passport, but the commonalities pretty much end there. The language is different, the jokes are different, the people are different, and the weather and terrain sure are different too. I moved away from Texas in 2002, and ever since then, I've been the stranger in the strange land... I've had some questions about the name of the blog - if you were not alive, or living abroad or under a rock, or in grad school during the late 1980s, Oldsmobile attempted to shuck its stodgy image with a series of commercials intended to bring brand appeal to the younger generation: this car, they said, is not your father's Oldsmobile. If you have a morbid curiosity, hit YouTube for William Shatner Oldsmobile...it will take you right there.

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